Where the Wild Apples Grow
by wildgypsyeyes
Summary: When a young, depressed teenaged girl falls for an older boy, lives will change. CC, AH, AU. Rated T for some language and 18 year old smoking.
1. In Which She Finds Out

_Magnified apples appear and disappear,  
Stem end and blossom end,  
And every fleck of russet showing clear.  
_-After Apple-Picking by Robert Frost

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
Chapter One: In Which She Finds Out  
**

**NOTE: **Winston is a made up town. So, if you Google it, you won't find it, but you WILL find out about the amazing Winston Churchill. (:  
**WARNING:** There will be no lemons. Perhaps some limes, but no lemons.  
**SUMMARY:** A story of first love, desperation, death, finding yourself and, most importantly, apples. CC, AH, AU. No lemons. Rated T for some language and 18 year old smoking

* * *

When I was growing up, my father's favorite pillow was his snowman pillow. It was rectangular and on one side it was a plain navy blue, on the other, there were seven happy snowmen (eight, if you included the snowman baby) all smiling. It was actually supposed to be for a Christmas decoration, but somehow, my father ended up using it all year round. We – my mother and I – teased him for it, of course. But my father was stubborn and wouldn't give in. We kept it out for a couple of years, until eventually my father forgot about it when my mother sneakily bought him a more comfortable pillow behind his back.

I was thirteen years old at the time. I even marked the day on my calendar because it was such a big event: May fifteenth. And about three weeks after my dad got his new pillow, he died. I threw the new pillow away and took the snowman pillow to my room where I hid it from my mother under my blankets. Sometimes I take it out to see if his smell is still there. It never is, but I like to think so anyway.

That was the year when I started becoming an expert on climbing trees. We had an oak tree in my back yard that held an old abandoned swing from its branches. I only used it once or twice when I was a little kid, but other then that, no dice. It was just always sort of there. I never really noticed it until June first. That was the day I first started to try and climb it.

My mother was still in her bedroom when I grabbed the dish cleaning gloves because we didn't have any gardening ones. The day was sunny, which didn't seem right to me. It seemed like the world had stopped spinning. Why did it keep turning? Did it not know the loss I felt? Didn't the earth feel my darkness and sorrow?

The smell outside was of peace. Flowers, sunshine, clean air, warmth. It made me feel numb inside. Was this peace? I wasn't sure. Before this, I wasn't even sure I had felt anything. No, I had never really_ felt_ before. Not like this. This was real emotion and not some artificial, fleeting happiness. I leaned my head against the trunk of the tree. Rough. How many people before me had laid their head against this tree? How many had needed it for support?

I grabbed a thick branch and pulled myself up as hard as I could. I used my foot as leverage against the trunk and pulled so hard that I broke out into a sweat. I got a scratch on my face and a twig flicked into my eye. I fell down. My breath came out with a big huff. I stayed there for a couple seconds and then got back up to try again.

I tried for two more hours until my mother called me back inside. I didn't make it up that day or the next or the day of the funeral, though I desperately tried too. It gave me something to focus on. I kept trying to climb up. It occurred to me that I could've gotten a step ladder, but that felt like cheating.

The day I made it to the first branch was on the second official week of summer vacation. I had gotten to get out of school early because of my father's passing. He had died of a heart attack. Nobody saw it coming. He was healthy, fit. He was a policeman, so he knew that he had to be in shape for catching criminals. Apparently, he had some sort of heart problem. I didn't know what, and I didn't really care. The fact was, my father was gone, and he wasn't coming back.

I didn't try going to the second branch of the oak tree until I could successfully get to the first branch easily. That was on the third week of summer vacation. On the fourth week, I just sat on the crook between the second branch and the trunk, just chilling out. I watched the Hestor's across the way. I got to know them particularly well that summer, just making up stories about them.

Sometimes I just lay against the rough bark, closed my eyes, and let the wind slowly smooth against my face. I supposed this was atonement for the earth not stopping for me. It felt liberating to be up in the tree. It was like the earth's hand was cradling me. I felt safe.

On the fifth week, my mother was down in the kitchen baking cookies. When I finally got downstairs, they were halfway done. There wasn't any music playing like there normally would have been. The lights were all off. It made the house seem even gloomier. I switched them back on, and I felt the atmosphere lift slightly.

My mother turned around from where she was standing and said, "We're moving."

I just stood there for a second, utterly confused. "What?"

"We're moving. I have to get out of this place. It's suffocating me," she whispered.

The sound was scary because she seemed so desperate. I wasn't sure what to do. How was I supposed to take care of an adult? She was the one who was supposed to be taking care of _me._

"Where are we moving too?" I asked.

My mother's shoulders straightened. "We're going to head the Northeast. Pennsylvania. He – we have some family over there. Do you remember your cousin Alice? You guys used to play all the time when you were little," she said, chopping up more frozen dough.

"No, I don't remember Alice," I said as I moved towards the window. It was raining. I couldn't escape outside in my tree today. I pulled the curtains back over the windows, hiding Fiacha, my tree.

"Oh. Well, your dad's sister – ahem – said she wanted us to come up and stay for a while and help with things." She sniffed against the tears that were filling up in her eyes. I didn't have to look at her to know.

"Why didn't you ask me?" I asked evenly.

"Hmmm?"

"Why didn't you ask me if I wanted to go? What if I wanted to stay _here_?" I grabbed a rubber-band ball and tossed it a few times in the air.

"Why would you possibly want to stay here?" My mother sounded astounded. "Don't you want to go somewhere where your father isn't around every corner? Be somewhere where it doesn't hurt so much?" Mom checked the cookies. A classic _I'm-hiding-my-face-because-I'm-scared-of-my-daughter's _move of hers.

I shrugged and didn't answer. I just bounced the ball up and down. I thought over what she said. It_ would_ be nice to live without Dad being around every corner, where everything I practically looked at was filled with painful memories. But then again, how else would I remember Dad? If I wasn't in a place where I could picture him easily, I could forget his face. The way his eyes crinkled up when he smiled at something funny I said, or when Mom wore something embarrassingly sexy when it was Friday Date Night.

Even now, I was holding something of Dad's. He was the one who made this ball. He said he was so bored with the lack of anything to do at work that he made this ball for me. He said he used to do it all the time when he was a kid. My mom just made those fortune-teller things. She still has them, the pack rat.

"I guess," I finally answered. I looked forlornly out the window towards Fiacha. I hoped there were good climbing trees in Pennsylvania.

**

* * *

**

It was Friday, the seventh week of summer. The movers packed all week. Mom quit her job without her bosses giving her much fuss. My room was now empty except for a picture of my dad and me and an air bed that we had borrowed from the Shoemaker's. I kissed my dad's picture and whispered, "I miss you."

I hoped he heard me, wherever he was. I hoped he was happy and well cared for, and that he could watch the Rangers whenever he wanted to, and that he had a 50-inch television set with surround sound and a Wii. He had always wanted one, but my mother was dead set against video games. She said they corrupted your mind. I didn't care. I liked to read.

We would be leaving for Pennsylvania the next morning. It was a four day drive from here to Winston, Pennsylvania, which was where we would be moving. I was, of course, eagerly awaiting all the fast food I would be eating and the cheap motels I would be sleeping in. I only wished I could drive so that I could give my mother a break once in a while.

Aunt Esme had said that she would be getting all the papers ready for my transfer over to Winston High School, where I would be entering as a freshman. She said that they didn't have any music classes for me – I would've been taking advanced band – but that there was a gardening club, if I was interested. As if. I learned the hard way that if you liked plants, it would label you a geek forever. You might as well have had it tattooed on your forehead.

Alice had e-mailed me several times over the past week, claiming that she couldn't wait to meet my smiling face and that we would have so much fun together, even though (as she frequently pointed out) she was a junior and I was a freshman. _And_ that she was a member of the women's volleyball team. _Plus _she had a super-cute-senior-boyfriend-that-I-just-_had_-to-meet.

My birthday was also in about one month. Alice said she was planning a big _fiesta _for me. I also couldn't wait for that either. I was practically wetting my pants with excitement, just looking forward to the prospect.

I looked around reflexively for my digital clock, before I remembered that it was all packed away. I guessed it was around midnight. We were leaving in less than five hours. I yawned, and thought, "This is my last night in my room. Good-bye, normal. Hello, Pennsylvania."


	2. In Which She Arrives

_Apples I didn't pick upon some bough.  
But I am done with apple-picking now.  
_- After Apple-Picking by Robert Frost

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
Chapter Two: In Which She Arrives**

* * *

"I think you took a wrong turn," I said.

Mom took a deep drink from her hours-old coffee. "Bella, don't you think I realized the last five times you told me_? _I'm trying to figure a way out of here! Just leave me alone for five freaking minutes."

"Fine," I grumbled. "You don't have to yell at me." I threw the map down on the ground and grabbed a book from my pack. An old favorite of mine got picked: _Dracula. _Now there was a fine specimen. I carefully read over the summary on the back – an old habit of mine – and then went to the copyright page. When I was finished with that, I went to the first chapter.

I was one sentence in before my mother abruptly pulled the car over, got out of the car, yelled really loudly, and then came back into the car and slammed the door. My heart started beating really fast in worry. My mother seemed so stressed out. I watched her face as she started up the car again, but didn't see anything except her now-usual sadness.

"Could you call Aunt Esme for me?" She handed me her phone.

I cautiously took it from her. "What do you want me to tell her?"

"Tell her we're lost in – where are we? Oh, Pikesdale and that we need directions to get back on the highway," she snapped. Her voice had an extreme amount of _duh _in it.

"Right." I pulled up the menu. I ignored – as best I could – the fact that my mother had not deleted my father's number in her phone book. It hurt to see it there, but I scrolled down a couple more times and clicked on _Esme. _

The phone picked up on the second ring. "Renee? Are you in Winston yet?"

"Hey, Aunt Esme. It's Bella, actually. We're lost. Do you know where Pikesdale is? Because that's where we are." I shifted the phone against my ear.

"Oh, hello Bella! How nice to hear from you. Yes, um, Pikesdale is just two hours away from Winston, am I correct?"

I shrugged, but then I remembered she couldn't see me. "I guess. I've never been here before."

Aunt Esme sighed. "Could you hand the phone over to your mother?"

"Yeah," I said and tapped my mother on the shoulder. "Aunt Esme wants to talk to you."

Mom sighed and grabbed the phone. "Yeah...I'm on Jill Street. You know where that is? Good. So I take a right? And then take a U turn and then…oh. Okay. Yes. Yes. Thanks so much Esme." Mom gently closed the phone and then took a right.

"So you got the directions?" I asked.

"Yes, I did. We'll be there in about an hour if we go really fast. Go ahead and read your book." She sighed and turned back onto the highway. I looked at my mother nervously, wondering if I was going to do something wrong by doing so. But she didn't comment when I picked my book back up and started to read again.

I kept glancing at Mom, still worried. I tried to concentrate on my book, but I finally just gave up and turned on the radio. Pretty notes came out on a guitar.

Mom grimaced and changed the station. She went from rap to pop and finally stopped on a country station. I cringed, mostly because I absolutely hated country music, but also because…well, I just hated it.

I sighed and turned the page.

I tuned out the horrible music blasting through the radio and eventually got lost in my book… After about an hour, Mom told me to put my book away. I blearily looked out the window. The sun was setting.

I blinked a few times and gasped. This place was beautiful. Big, dark green firs lined the tall hillsides. There were trees everywhere of every different type. I spotted a couple trees that would be just perfect for climbing. I felt my insides jump in excitement at the prospect.

"Welcome to Winston," Mom told me with great enthusiasm. "We'll be at Esme's place in about half an hour. This place hasn't changed much." She gave a wistful half-smile. I knew she was remembering Dad. My heart hurt, painfully.

I turned my attention back to the trees. They were all kinds of different colors, I noticed. Fall was coming. So was school. I winced at the thought of returning to school so soon. Everyone would know. I would be known as the girl with the dead father. _Just great. _

I finally just shut the dang radio off, which was giving me a headache. Mom didn't say anything. She was tense. I watched the twists and turns of the dirt roads – apparently, Winston wasn't rich enough for asphalt – with something like eagerness filling me up. I guessed it was the change of pace.

Maybe it was meeting my dad's sister. I hadn't remembered meeting her, ever, though we had talked on the phone a couple times. And of course we got the Christmas cards with updates on the family and so forth, and the e-mails we had exchanged on birthdays.

After about a half an hour, we were out in the middle of NoWheresVille. Seriously. It was hills and trees and then there was this big white country house that looked like it came out of a _Good Housekeeping_ magazine. I jumped out of the car as soon as Mom stopped it.

I stretched and walked around to the back of the trunk. It smelled really pretty out here. I couldn't quite pin-point what it was, but then I was distracted by two people bursting out of the country house and running over towards us. I smiled at them and the first thing they did was hug me.

"Bella! Renee!" the woman who I assumed to be Aunt Esme said. She had a big smile on her face, and she had laugh lines and lots of curly brown hair. It was a lot like Dad's; I thought with a pang, except hers had highlights in it. Probably from the sun.

And I was enveloped in a big hug by this little tiny person with this spiky black hair, who was screaming, "You're here! You're here, finally! Oh my goodness! I've been waiting _all day_!" And so Alice arrived.

And then I was traded off to Aunt Esme, who, not unlike Alice, enveloped me in a big hug. She smelled like honey and vanilla. It was the most beautiful perfume – if that's what it was – in the entire world. I smiled into her shoulder.

She whispered in my ear, "You look a lot like your dad, you know. You have his eyes, big and brown and all-knowing. It's like he's here again. He would be so proud of you."

I swallowed back the big lump in my throat, and my nose felt runny, which told me I was about to start bawling my head off if I didn't distract myself right then. I pulled away and discreetly tried to wipe my eyes. I half-smiled at her and she brushed my hair gently back from my forehead.

Alice was chattering at my mom, who was getting our suitcases out of the back. Aunt Esme hurried over to help her. I just stood there for a second, taking in the new place where I would be staying.

The smell was incredible – in a good way – and the scenery was absolutely gorgeous. The sun was setting, so the sky had this pink tinge to it with light purple clouds. I decided that so far, I probably would like living in the country.

I started scouting out good climbing trees. I had been itching to do some climbing the entire cramped ride over. To feel free and high above the world where it felt like nothing could touch me was the thing I loved most about climbing. I missed it immensely.

"Bella! Come help out!" mom called out.

I turned around and grabbed a couple of my heavy suitcases. Alice grabbed a box of my books and she almost fell over from the weight. Instead, Esme handed her one of the smaller suitcases that was filled with all our underwear and had wheels on it. She happily rolled it back and forth a few times.

I slung one over my shoulder and the other around my neck so that it fell down my back.

"So when are the movers coming?" Esme asked.

"A couple days, I suppose," Mom said, sounding a little strained. Esme made a sad face at her, grabbed her hand and started leading her to the back of the house. Mom still carried her suitcase, I noticed, and couldn't help but wonder what she would do with it. Esme shooed over Alice to me.

I felt a little relieved, because now Aunt Esme could help take care of my mother, instead of me just doing it all on my own.

Alice smiled at me. "Well, now they're finally gone! Now it's time to have some fun, am I right?"

I shrugged and Alice sighed, turned around, and started talking and walking.

"Come on, Bella. I have to show you your room. Well, you get to choose between the room on the second floor and the one on the first floor. Me, I would pick the second floor room, because that one has the best view of the back yard. I would've moved in there if my other room wasn't so big." She twisted the knob, and the door creaked open.

She let me in first and then followed me in. I gasped, because this was probably the most beautiful house I ever saw. The winding wooden stairs were to my immediate right. The ceiling was huge and filled with light from the large windows in the living room (which I couldn't help but notice had a big screen television), where I could see tons and tons of trees, but then Alice made me take off all my suitcases before we went upstairs.

"It's easier to tour the house without all that weight," she explained as I tagged along silently up the stairs. "I'm really happy about you guys moving here. It's a nice change of pace, and now we have more people to help with the planting and such." I was confused about what that meant, but she didn't elaborate. "I can't wait for you to meet all my friends! They're really excited to meet you because I told them how nice you are and how you're dad –" That's when she cut herself off. "I mean, not that I told them about – you know what? I'll just shut up."

I didn't say anything, trying to ignore the waves of loss suddenly rising above my head. I tried to tell myself that I would just have to get over it, because this was now a fact of my life. I would now be a girl whose dad died and that would come up as a topic of conversation for years to come. It was fact.

But how could I forget something like that? How could I possibly get over this feeling of absolute loss? I would never, ever see my dad again and my mom would never see the man she was in love with again. I had better just get used to this fact really quickly.

"You're really tired, right?" Alice asked warily.

I didn't answer, just looked around my surroundings. The hallways were half wood, and half…plaster, I guessed. The doors were a nice, dark wood with old-fashioned door knobs.

"Do you want me to just show you to your room now and come get you when it's time for dinner, and then I can give you the Big Tour tomorrow?" Alice blinked worriedly at me when I didn't answer and just looked at the window at the end of the hall.

Curiously, I walked over to it, Alice following nervously behind me. My eyes widened at the sight the window framed.

It was an absolute dream. Lots and lots of trees in straight lines that looked like it went on forever. It was an even better sight than the one downstairs.

"What is that?" I whispered.

"That, my dear, is our backyard," Alice said proudly.

I looked at her in astonishment.

"It's our apple orchard. My mom and I call it our Little Apple Farm. The apples are almost ripe enough to pick, and we invite the whole town to come down and pick them. It happens every year. That's where you'll meet my boyfriend, Jasper." She got this dreamy look on her face and I looked back down at the Little Apple Farm.

Well, I guess in Pennsylvania, there were a lot of climbing trees.

Alice sighed. "Mom will explain all about that at dinner. We're obsessed with anything to do with apples, so don't be surprised by the kitchen décor. Just warning you, m'kay?" She grabbed my hand and tugged me in the opposite direction. She lead me a few doors down, turned a left, and pulled me into a room.

My mouth fell open in astonishment. There was a huge window with white lace curtains looking out over the back yard and had a gorgeous view of the hills behind it. And then I saw the nice wooden old-time dresser and I almost…well, I was going to say died, but never mind. I almost _fainted_. The bed was huge; it almost took up the entire room. The covers looked fluffy and nice. It was pure white.

The floors were a nice wood, like the rest of the house. I fell in love with it immediately. Sure, it wasn't the room I lived in for six years, but it was much better looking then the other one. And sure, it wasn't familiar, but it would be.

I turned to look at Alice, who was hovering in the door way.

"This is great. Thanks."

Alice smiled at me, turned, and closed the door behind her.

I heaved a sigh and jumped – literally jumped – up onto the bed and fell back. I kicked off my sneakers and scooted my whole back onto the bed. I stared up at the ceiling and traced the little cracks in the ceiling with my eyes. I felt my eyes slowly close…

The gentle creak from the door awoke me. My face was red hot, but the rest of my body was cold – an uncomfortable feeling for anyone who falls asleep above the blankets. It was completely dark in my room, except for the burgeoning light coming in from the hallway. I sat up straight and blinked sleepily at the shadow in the door way.

"Hey, Bella," Aunt Esme said quietly.

I waved. She turned on a lamp that I hadn't noticed before and shut the door softly behind her. She smiled and said, "Time for dinner. You've been sleeping for about three hours. We brought up your stuff and left it outside your room."

"That's nice of you," I said hoarsely, when it became clear she was waiting for a response.

She smiled again. "Did you have a good sleep? Do you like your room? I could also show you the room downstairs if you want."

"No, this is fine," I replied quickly. "I like it."

"Good, because your mom already got the one downstairs." She paused. "You are hungry, aren't you?"

"Starving."

"Let's go then." Aunt Esme turned around and left the door open for me. I climbed down my bed and stumbled after her blinking quickly against the bright light. I was stunned to see how dark it was outside, mostly because there were no city lights brightening up the sky.

I was freezing; this place must be absolutely glacial in winter. I wrapped my arms around myself and rubbed them so I could get some friction. I shuddered a little. I followed Aunt Esme down the stairs; the wood was cool against my feet.

I heard Mom and Alice chatting from where I was. I spotted Mom's sweatshirt on the coat hook and hurried over and put it on. It was an instant relief.

"Oh, sorry. I forgot you guys aren't used to the cold," Aunt Esme said in an apologetic tone.

I shrugged and continued following her.

She led me around a corner and the room was all apples. I'm serious. It was just like Alice said – apple wall paper, table cloth, green cabinets, and tiled floors. Basically everything was covered with apples. _Geez, these people _are_ obsessed. _

It smelled like chicken and some vegetable. I noticed some chocolate chip cookies on a plate near the oven. It smelled nice and homey. Our old house smelled like dust and some weird musty clothing. This…it just smelled delicious.

"Hey sleepyhead!" Alice greeted cheerfully.

I smiled shyly and took the seat next to her, across from my mom. She smiled sadly at me. Her eyes still looked pink from when she was crying, though I didn't know when. Waves of worry crashed over me again. When would my mom get better? When would _we_ get better? Would I have to worry about her all the time?

I started to rip my napkin to shreds when Aunt Esme put warm chicken on my plate. I smiled my thanks and started cutting in. Alice glanced at me and shook her head. I cautiously put down my knife and fork and she nodded at me. When everyone was served, Aunt Esme sat next to my mom and said grace.

"Thank you Lord for this meal. May You bless it to our bodies. And thank You for letting Renee and Bella come up to live with us. Oh, and may the harvesting go well and that Sophia doesn't break her arm again like last year. Amen."

Then we started eating. For a while, the noise was knives and forks scraping against the plates, but after a while, Alice said, "Hey, Mom. Why don't you tell Bella and Aunt Renee about the pickings on Saturday?"

"Wonderful, wonderful. Yes, well, every year at around the end of summer – right before school – we invite everyone to come to our orchard and pick apples. People can take one or two if they want; the rest will go to grocery stores and charities. But it's a real fun activity that everyone loves to do – or so I'm told by Alice's friends."

"Oh, yeah," Alice agreed. "I've been doing it since I was a kid. You did it one year too, but you were like three, so you probably don't remember."

I nodded and took another bite of my chicken.

"But my friends adore it. Oh! Right. I have to tell you all about my friends. You're going to hang out with me during school, right?"

I shrugged.

"Well, I tell you anyways. Of course, there's Jasper. He's awesome. We've been going out since I was in seventh grade and he was in eighth. Mom totally adores him." Aunt Esme nodded enthusiastically. Alice smiled. "And then there's Rosalie; she's Jasper's sister. She's in my grade and on the volleyball team too. Or, well, when we "try out" we will both be on the volleyball team. Anyway, _she's _going out with Emmett. And get this – he's a welder. He's a real artist. Everyone's saying he's going to get into this big art school one day."

Alice took a deep breath, and Mom and I exchanged nervous looks.

"And there's also Maria, who I really hate but I have to pretend to like her anyways." Alice gripped her fork tightly and took some deep breaths. "So, there's Maria and this other girl, Lucy. Hate her too."

Aunt Esme gave her a reproving look. I took the opportunity to take another bite of my chicken and eat some corn. I was feeling kind of disoriented from being awoken so abruptly. I felt like I was about to fall over, but Alice kept talking.

"I'm sure I'm forgetting someone…" Alice trailed off in thought.

"Edward?" Esme prompted.

"Oh, yeah, Eddie," Alice laughed. "He hates it when we call him that, but we don't care. Edward's a senior like Jazz. He doesn't really talk much at all, but when he does, he says really something really insightful. You have to meet him, though, to see what I mean."

I nodded like I was actually interested. I would just be spending as much time as I could alone anyways. Plus, I was already forgetting most of what Alice had said.

Aunt Esme talked about how we picked apples, which was kind of interesting. I was more looking forward to climbing the trees then actually picking the apples. Then she started talking about school, which Mom looked interested in, and that's when I really started paying attention.

"So, school starts next Monday. We already have you signed up and everything – we mailed your mom the forms, Bella, so don't worry about getting a parental signature or anything. We also bought you school supplies and if there is anything else you need during the school year, we'll gladly help pay for it."

"Bella, say thank you," Mom admonished, while I sat there, stunned.

"Thank you, Aunt Esme," I mumbled.

"You're welcome sweetie." She grinned.

"How do I choose my classes?" I asked quietly.

"Don't you remember? You already picked them. We sent them a couple of weeks ago."

I just nodded my head and looked down at my mostly empty plate. I didn't really remember picking my classes at all.

"May I be excused, please?" I asked quietly.

"Renee?" Aunt Esme asked.

"Sure. Go ahead." Mom moved her corn around with her fork, not even really paying attention anymore.

"Are you sure you don't want dessert? If not, we can save you some."

"Yeah, just save me a couple, please. Thanks for making them. I just really want to take a shower and get some rest," I added.

They – Aunt Esme and Alice – nodded and I left the room. I searched for a bathroom. I found out where Alice's room was, the linen closet, Aunt Esme's master bedroom, before I found out that the bathroom was across the hall from my room.

The window was open; it smelled and felt like fall in there. I pushed it down, and it made a big squeaking noise when I closed it. I shivered and turned on the hot water. Steam almost immediately began to fill the bathroom and I stripped.

The light was extra bright in here. It made my skin seem even paler then it probably was. I looked at myself in the mirror…

I was skinny. Really skinny, actually. You could see my rib bones and my hip bones and my spine. It honestly scared me about how thin I had gotten. I used to have, as Aunt Esme would probably say, meat on my bones.

Now I knew where the expression "skin and bones" came from. I was probably the epitome of it. My dad would be disappointed in me. My eyes almost filled up with tears at the thought.

It wasn't my fault, really, that I hadn't been eating. I just wasn't hungry anymore. It took a lot of effort to actually finish the dinner that Aunt Esme set out for me. My stomach felt very delicate.

I looked away from myself in disgust and stepped into the shower. Burning hot water fell on me and I hissed in pain. I turned on the cold water a little more, and that balanced it out. Now it felt pleasantly warm. There was an old bottle of shampoo which I used. There wasn't much left, but I did the best I could with what I had; the same with the soap also.

When I almost finished, I remembered that I had forgotten a towel, but when I looked out from behind the shower curtain, I saw a little cabinet filled with them. I sighed in relief. I didn't really want my first night to be me walking around buck naked.

I let the water wash over me a couple more minutes and then I turned it off. Steam filled the bathroom even more while I grabbed a fluffy white towel. I had to wrap it about three times around me it was so big. I grabbed all my clothes and carried it back to my bedroom, where the lamp was still thankfully on.

I dropped it carelessly on the floor. I would think of a laundry spot later. I went out and got my big suitcase – which was really hard to manage only wearing a towel, let me tell you – and my other small carry-on. I would leave some of the boxes out there until tomorrow.

I let my towel fall when I unzipped my suitcase and quickly grabbed some undies and an old flannel nightgown of my grandmother's. I got out my brush from my carry-on and started meticulously comb through it. It was really quiet in my room, I noticed. I went over to the window, trying to find out how to open it.

After a couple look-arounds, I found the handle to turn so it would open. Cold wind gently breezed through and I shivered hard. I closed it a bit more, just so I could hear some god-darned noise. When I finished brushing my hair, I found I was too tired to brush my teeth, even though they screamed for their nightly cleaning. I turned off the light, then turned off the hall light, stumbled over to my bed, climbed in, went under the covers, and almost immediately went to sleep.


	3. In Which She Cries

_My long two-pointed ladder's sticking through a tree  
Toward heaven still  
And there's a barrel that I didn't fill  
_-After Apple-Picking by Robert Frost

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
Chapter Three: In Which She Cries**

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, it smelled fresh, cold, and clean. Sunlight danced through my lace curtains and onto my open suitcase. I breathed in the air. It was so different from my old house here. I would just have to learn if it was good or bad.

I went over and closed the window and then started to unpack my suitcase. I had to refold about half my clothes, which took a while, and then I had to put them away, which took even longer. When I was done with that, I unpacked my carry-on. I couldn't figure out what to do with my books so I just left them in my bag.

I finally got dressed in jeans, an old sweater of mine, and mismatched fuzzy socks. When I carefully shut the door behind me, I smelled the scent of breakfast wafting up to me. My stomach grumbled, but I went to the bathroom and went to do my hair. It was in chaos, of course. I put it in a messy bun. I brushed my teeth, rinsed, and then went downstairs to eat breakfast.

I almost got lost for a second, but then remembered where I was going. I lazily went down the stairs, stopping at the end to guess what breakfast was. Pancakes, I decided. When I entered the kitchen, I saw my mom was up, wearing a pink bathrobe and drinking a cup of coffee.

I heard music start coming from somewhere and then footsteps. I was sill staring at my mother, who I could tell was trying to ignore me. She hadn't been getting up before twelve o'clock since before…before.

I smelled Aunt Esme's scent before she scooted me to the side.

"Good morning, Bella," she said.

I smiled at her in return.

"Pancakes?"

"Just one please," I informed her.

"Are you sure? I made a whole stack!"

"I'm sure," I said as I slid into the seat next to my mom. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and I smiled at her too. She nodded and went back to sipping her coffee. I sighed down at the table. Aunt Esme put down my food, and I started to put the butter on it.

"Apple juice?" she offered. "Just kidding. Old family joke. Milk?"

"Do you have any strawberry syrup?" I asked.

"Of course! Alice loves strawberry milk. It's her favorite."

Esme went over to the fridge and got out a carton of milk and Hershey's strawberry syrup. She put them down for me and got out a spoon. I squeezed the syrup into the milk and then mixed it all together. My mother just drank her coffee.

"Alice is outside, on the patio. She's painting the sign for tomorrow's big event. Alice is very artistic," Aunt Esme said proudly. "Why don't you go join her when you're done with your breakfast?"

"Uhh…sure."

She smiled and went back to cooking more food. I finished the rest of my breakfast quickly and went out through the back door where Alice was painting a large green paper. Her hair was back in a short ponytail and her face was dotted with paint. She looked up when she saw me and asked, "What's up, Bella?"

I shrugged and sat down next to her to read what she was painting.

_Eighteenth Annual Little Apple Farm Harvest! _

Outlined in pencil under that, which she was currently painting:

_August 31st! All day! Help pick apples! $2.50 for entry! _

In the corner, there was a large apple tree, its branches spreading out across the entire thing. I was surprised to see it was actually very good.

"How are you today, Bella?" Alice asked politely. She paused for a second, and continued on when I didn't say anything. "I'm doing fine."

I nodded hello. Alice smiled and dipped her brush into the paint and painted along one of the apple tree's branches.

"I'm so excited. I can't wait for you to meet everybody." Alice sighed happily. "It's going to be so much fun tomorrow! Eep! I can hardly wait!"

I nodded again and looked out back. The wind blew gently through the screen windows, and I smelled the apples. It smelled like…just…nature. It was really nice.

"Hey, Bella?"

"Hmmm…?"

"I know you just got here yesterday and all, and you've been asleep for most of the time, but I'm just kind of getting the feeling that you don't really like me all that much."

My face scrunched. "No, Alice. That's not it at all. I just…need time to get used to things."

"Oh. Okay. I understand."

There was silence and when it began to get a little awkward, I stood up. "I'm going to go back inside and unpack the rest of my stuff."

"Sure." Alice still looked troubled, and I tried to ignore it as best I could. I went back inside. I shivered at the sudden temperature drop and pulled my hands into my sleeves. It was quiet, except for the murmurs coming from the kitchen.

I knew I shouldn't have, but I snuck closer to the doorway leading to the kitchen, hiding so I couldn't be seen. I turned my ear so I could hear better.

"– I'm not exactly sure, Esme."

"I insist Renee."

"I don't know if I can let you do all this stuff for me. Us."

"Renee…" Aunt Esme's voice took on a concerned tone.

I heard a chair screech back, and I ran to the couch, trying to look casual. I laid my leg over the arm of the couch and closed my eyes. I heard the bare slap of Mom's footsteps coming closer, and I opened my eyes. She was standing over me.

"Scoot over, Scrump." She gruffed at me. My heart filled with sort-of happiness at the sound of my old nickname. It was silent for a moment, and we listened to Esme doing the dishes. I would have to help her next time…

"Do you think it was a mistake to come here, Bella?" Mom whispered, picking at her fingernails.

I shrugged. "I haven't been here long enough. It's only been one day."

"I'm thinking…maybe it was. I don't know, Bella. I don't know anything anymore." She sounded like a little child when she said it. She sniffed a couple times.

I patted her arm awkwardly. I wasn't sure how to comfort her, seeing how I wasn't very good with outward affection. We just sat together for a while, listening to the silence, the peace of living in the country.

**

* * *

**

It was dinner, and Esme made roast beef with apple pie. Mom had changed into her pink bathrobe and was wearing her fuzzy navy blue slippers. My face was getting red from wearing the sweater all day. Alice looked vaguely harassed. Aunt Esme looked cheerful, but if I looked closely, I could see the bags under her eyes.

"So, Bella, I hear your birthday's coming up," Aunt Esme said as she put her food in her mouth.

I nodded solemnly. My first birthday without my dad. I tried to ignore the pang in my chest.

"How old are you going to be? Fifteen?" She chewed on her corn loudly. I was growing irritated.

"Fourteen." I pushed the roast beef around with my fork, still not hungry.

"I remember being fourteen, myself." She fake-shuddered. "I wouldn't want to go back. How about you, Renee? How was fourteen for you?"

Mom muttered something vague.

Aunt Esme forced a smile. "So, what do you want to do for your birthday, Bella? You could do something in the orchard if you wanted. Alice always has her birthday celebration there."

Alice nodded in agreement.

"I don't really want to do anything for my birthday," I said.

"Well, you still have time to change your mind. You have about two weeks, right?" She smiled encouragingly at me.

"Yeah, I do."

It was silent after that, and everyone went back to eating dinner.

Bedtime again. I couldn't sleep. I didn't feel like taking a shower; I felt lazy. I even just shook off my pants and slept in my sweatshirt and fuzzy socks. The comforter felt cool against my legs.

Tomorrow was the apple harvest. I just wanted to stay in my bed all day and ignore the world. But the call of those trees was too great; I had to climb up again and feel the freedom of being above the ground.

But I didn't want to deal with all those _people_. They would probably stare and point at me; not just because I was new, but because they knew my father was dead. Aunt Esme and Alice didn't have to tell anyone for them to know. People would just _know_; it would be like it was written on my forehead: NO FATHER HERE.

My eyes stung with tears and I wiped them away. I sniffed back my snot as well. I turned over on my side to look out my window. The moonlight gleaming brightly on my face, and when I wiped my tears on my fingers, I saw they shone.


	4. In Which She Climbs

_In summer and in early fall  
It's time to pick an apple!  
_---Anonymous

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Four: In Which She Climbs**

* * *

I was still awake when Alice burst into my room.

"Wake u—Oh! You're already up. Good. You have to help us set up. We have about four hours to get ready! C'mon! Take a shower, get dressed! Don't forget to wear sneakers! And a jacket!" Alice chirped at me, while I looked blankly at her. She left as soon as she finished talking.

My head fell back against my pillow. I didn't really want to get out of my bed; it was nice and warm and _safe_. I kicked off the comforter, and lay there and let the cold get me. It came to me that I probably looked odd—bed head, only underwear and a sweatshirt on—and that maybe I should change before Alice came back.

I stretched and there was a pleasant soreness in my muscles from staying in the same position the whole night. I glanced at the clock, and it said it was six a.m. I sighed, blowing my bangs above my head. I probably should take a shower or something…

Mumbling incoherently to myself, I grabbed my clothes for the day and my underwear, and a brush and toiletries as well. The wood under my feet was nice and cool, and my feet made slapping noises against the floor as I headed across the hall to the bathroom.

Ignoring my reflection in the mirror, I quickly undressed and turned on the water, holding my hand under it until it got hot. I stepped in, and I felt myself relaxing as the water pounded against my back. I let out a slow breath, and breathed in the heavy steam. It felt wonderful against my skin.

I scrubbed my shampoo into my hair, and then rinsed it, and continued with the conditioner. When I was finished with that, I just stood there until my whole hands were pruny. I stepped out, cringing at the water I was sloshing everywhere. I hoped Esme didn't mind if I got mold on her nice floor tiling.

I toweled off my hair until it was fairly dry, and put on an old plaid shirt of my dad's. It was huge on me, and I had to stuff it into my jeans, knowing as I did so that I looked like a total geek. But somehow, it felt like he was there, cringing at the prospect of a crowd along with me. We both hated large groups of people; there was way too much noise, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

But maybe it would help that it was out in the open country air, and not in our living room, where my mother held our annual Christmas parties. Or, at least, where she used too…I shook the thought from my head, concentrating on my reflection instead, though that wasn't much better than the painful memories of past Christmases in my head.

I looked every inch of the lonely thirteen-year-old that I felt inside. I wondered if I would look different when I was fourteen. Maybe I would spontaneously grow boobs, though how that would happen in two weeks, I had no idea. I grabbed my brush and started brushing, wincing at the tangles. When I finished, I deliberated between putting it in a ponytail, before deciding that I would just leave it down so it could hide my face from the stares.

I put my hiking boots on in my room and then clomped down the hallway to Alice's room. After I knocked and she didn't answer, I nervously pushed open the door, wondering if she didn't hear me. She wasn't there.

But I was surprised at what I _did _see.

I kind of had a vague picture of Alice's room in my mind: pink, and lots of it. But Alice's room was a nice blend of green and light brown, with pretty flowery curtains. Posters of the latest boy-bands were scattered about her walls, angled just right. Right above her delicately carved desk, there was a collage of pictures. Curious, I moved closer.

The first one I saw was of Alice and another girl, with their arms around each other's necks and an amusement park in the background. They were making peace signs and had silly faces on. Alice was definitely younger, and she had shoulder-length hair. The girl had blonde hair and big brown eyes with full pink lips that were naturally curved at the edges. She was really nice-looking.

I skipped over several pictures, and looked at the one with Alice and a boy who looked remarkably like the blonde girl. He had the same brown eyes and smile as the other girl. Their arms were wrapped around each other's waists. It made me smile when I saw how much shorter Alice was then the blonde guy.

I let out a short laugh, and looked to the one next to it. It was of Alice, the two blondes, and two other guys. One of them had really curly brown hair, and he resembled a football player. He had a tattoo on his forearm, which was wrapped around the blonde girl's torso, who was wearing a sport's uniform. I looked over at Alice, and she was wearing one too. They both looked kind of sweaty and excited.

And standing at the edges, looking disgruntled and annoyed at the two couples, was a boy wearing a white-and-plaid jacket. He had really red hair that was sticking up all over the place, and it ended at his collar. Because it he was kind of blurry, I wasn't sure if he was cute…not that it mattered much anyway.

I think those were the kids Alice was talking about. What were their names? Something…oh, yeah, Jasper. So the guy with her was Jasper, her senior boyfriend.

Out of the corner of my eye, I glanced at Alice's clock. _Crap!_ It had been almost two hours since Alice came to wake me up.I hurried out of Alice's room and ran down the stairs. Loud jazz music emanated from an unknown source, and I ran through the living room and out to the patio. I rushed down the steps leading to the ground below.

A large table was already set up, with loads and loads of wooden baskets surrounding it. Bright blue signs announced how much each bucket was for rent, and the entrance fees. Alice's sign was on a large post near the 'entrance' of the orchard. The smell of apples was overpowering.

A loud crash came from behind me, and, startled, I whirled around. My heart rate slowed down when I saw it was just Aunt Esme moving around some stuff. She smiled up at me when I walked over to her. "Good morning, Bella!" She said cheerfully. I nodded my hello at her.

"You missed all the fun! Where were you?"

"Sorry. I was taking a shower." I gave a sheepish shrug, deciding to leave out the fact that I was in Alice's room. Though Alice was nice and all, I doubted she would appreciate the fact that her almost-fourteen-year-old cousin was snooping in her room.

"Oh, no problem!" But then she got a mischievous smile on her face. "So, Bella, do you mind working the table for a few hours when this whole fiasco starts? I have so many things I need to do…it would be a big help."

What could I say? I couldn't say no. I mean, she bought me all those school supplies and made me cookies and (tried) to make me feel welcome here. But I also wanted to go look for good climbing trees…

"I guess." I shrugged. "But I could I look around first?"

"Of course! Just be back here in…hmmm…." She looked at her watch. It looked like a man's watch. I wanted to know why she wore one, but I supposed that's a story for another day. "In about an hour? I'll whistle for you."

"Whistle?"

"Don't worry. You'll hear it." She smirked at me. "Have fun…while you can."

I made a nervous laugh and cautiously walked down the gravel path. I looked back a couple of times, but Aunt Esme had already disappeared. I shrugged to myself, and strolled leisurely, trying to keep a good look-out for potential climbing trees.

While I looked, I was constantly surprised by how _quiet _it was. Well, not quiet exactly. But I was surprised by the lack of car horns and people's voices. It was just me, the sun, and the swaying branches. I felt something in me just…let go. I felt, for the first time in a while, like my _normal _self.

It took me a while to find a good tree, mostly because lots of the trees' branches were to far up for me to climb without gloves and more will. Plus, I was mostly looking for an easy one.

It was near the wilder part of the orchard – I assumed it was the back of the orchard because of the white fence guarding the edge and the fact that the trees didn't look as brittle – when I finally found the _perfect one. _

It was about twenty feet high with wide branches. There were thick tumbling roots and a couple thick branches near the ground. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation, smiling to myself. I could smell the apples' sweetness from down here.

After stumbling over a root, I found some steps to pull myself up. Grabbing hold of one of the branches with both hands, I pulled my feet up against the trunk. I pulled up with all my strength. Trying to be quick about it, I threw one of my legs over the branch. I made it, barely, and I knew I was going to get a bruise. I steadied myself, holding onto the branch with both my hands.

I looked around for a good way up to the top.

But I kept getting mesmerized by the branches loaded with apples swaying in the gentle, Pennsylvanian air. It was so gorgeous.

Smiling wider when I found a good thick branch up to my left, I stretched my arms, wrapped my legs around the branch to steady myself, and I pulled myself slowly up. And from there, it was quite easy to get near the top.

I could see the entire orchard from this view, as well as the house and the trees in full bloom. I reached for a nice, ripe red apple near me, and, shining it against my dad's shirt, I took a big bite. Sticky juice dribbled down my chin and hair got into my mouth but I didn't really pay attention because oh my goodness the _taste…_

It was the sweetest thing I had ever tasted. Real, true _sweetness. _I moaned in pleasure and took another big bite. I licked the juice along the apple's skin and wiped my mouth on my sleeve. _Pure heaven. _

Aunt Esme grew the best apples ever. Ever ever ever ever…

In that moment, with the apple juice making my fingers sticky, and the freezing wind making my face red and cold and like I was about to get frost bite, and the bruise forming on my thigh, I felt the happiest I had in a long time. A _really long time. _

From now on, this would be _my _tree. Bella's tree. That sounded nice. _My _apples. _My _branches.

_My_…happiness.

--

By the time I got back from my tree (Esme was right – I could hear her whistle) people were starting to arrive. Mostly the little kids and their tired and annoyed parents. I saw a couple people glance at me furtively, but they lost interest when they saw I didn't, say, burst into hysterical tears and do the cha-cha on a singing bear.

I guess they had to get here early so they could get the good trees. Alice was smiling and chatting with a family of three as she handed them two baskets. I sighed to myself. Though I had only known Alice for about two days, this seemed typical of her.

When she spotted me, Alice waved me over. The family looked around for who she was waving at, but they couldn't find me. They said their good-byes and that's when I headed over.

"Bella! You didn't help set up!" She pouted.

I shrugged as I slid into the chair next to her. "Sorry. I just needed a shower. But I'm making it up to you -- I'm staying here for a few hours, so you can go hang out with your friends. Okay?"

Alice squealed, "Thank you so much! That's so nice of you."

I didn't bother explaining to her that Aunt Esme assigned me the job. I was actually in a good mood; I didn't want to bring anyone down. Alice then proceeded to explain how to work the desk, where I mostly did a lot of nodding and _mhmm_-ing without paying much attention. When she abruptly bounced off, and I was left all alone, that's when everyone decided to attack.

"_I need two adult tickets, three kid baskets, and four baskets!"_

"_Sorry, do you have change for a hundred? How about fifty?" _

"_Four baskets please! I would like to request the green ones!" _

"_How about change for a twenty?" _

Overwhelmed with the huge line, I clumsily and slowly did what everyone asked. Hearing the huffs and complaints of the people in line made me blush horribly; I felt like I was on a television show.

After completing everyone's request, I got maybe a two minute break. And that's when the teenagers showed up.

They showed up alone, in groups of three or four, couples, or in obvious cliques. Girls were squealing over summer tans, and boys were checking out new scars.

And they all were headed towards _me. _

I don't know if anybody knows this, but after losing your father and then moving to new to a small northeastern town -- where you happen to be related to a popular family -- and every teenager at the new high school where you will be attending knowing all that and heading towards you, can be quite a frightening experience.

I finally realized it after the tenth time someone asked my name: this wasn't Aunt Esme being nice for me not helping set up. This was her punishment.

As a shy person, I'm not good at witty small-talk -- especially with people I don't know. So while the teenagers of Winston High School tried to figure me out and where I stood and how much I was like Alice, I stayed pretty quiet.

I heard this one girl, while she was leaving, say, _"She's not like Alice _at all. _How are they even related? They don't even look like family." _

And if that didn't bring my down my already good mood, being introduced to Alice's friends after the hordes of people asking veiled questions about my personal life certainly did…


	5. In Which She Smells Smoke

_Take an apple round and red  
Don't slice down  
Slice through instead  
Right inside it you will see  
A star as pretty as can be!  
_--The Apple Star

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Five: In Which She Smells Smoke**

* * *

**NOTE: **Thank you guys for the reviews, story alerts, and favorite adds! And sorry for it going slow. I'll pick up the pace soon! Oh, and the chapters will eventually get longer! (:

* * *

When I spotted Alice, she was right in the middle of a clump of people, laughing and smacking at the two guys with her. The blonde girl looked at them, annoyed, but she was smiling as well. Behind them, I saw a shock of red hair, but then it was gone. My heart started pounding faster; I knew Alice was going to come over.

Did she know how much it would kill me to talk to her friends? Especially those boys she was with. And Jasper. Jasper, Alice's super-cute-senior boyfriend. Alice smiled at me, and tugging the two guys' hands, pulled them over to meet me.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you looked atit, there was nobody else in line, so I didn't get much time in preparation for the coming onslaught of questions that were sure to come. I took deep breaths, and, as casually as I could, let my hair fall in front of my face.

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed.

I looked up and tried to look surprised that she was there. "Oh, hi, Alice…" And then I looked carelessly at Jasper and the other two. "…and company."

The two guys nodded at me. The blonde girl looked me over and smirked at a person behind her. I blushed, trying to cover my face with my hand. Alice sat on the table, and Jasper wrapped his arms around her. She giggled and rolled her eyes at me.

"So, Bella, let me introduce you to my friends."

I nodded.

"This is Jasper." She smiled at him, and he smiled back at her. "And the big guy over there is Emmett. The welder, remember? And the, ugh, seriously ugly one who nobody can stand to look at for more than five seconds without looking for a paper bag" she took a deep breath "is Rosalie Hale. _Ew._"

"Oh, shut up, Alice." She punched Alice on the arm. And Alice winced dramatically.

"She's also incredibly violent. Beware."

They all laughed, and I felt sort of...excluded. I bit my lip and tried to smile at their happiness, and look like I was paying attention.

"And where is the other one?" Alice chuckled.

"He's hiding behind me." Rosalie answered and then she grabbed the person behind her by the arm and pushed him forward. He stumbled forward and almost ran into the table. I jumped back.

"Way to be a bitch, Rosalie." He glared at her, running his hand through his red hair.

"Shut up, you douche bag."

"Hag." He shot back.

He looked at me then, the boy with the red hair, and my jaw almost dropped open.

And it wasn't because was handsome, or because he was ugly. He was just _unusual _looking. He didn't look like anyone else. He had thin lips and high cheekbones. His eyes were a little farther apart then were conventional, but they were a bright, cool green and had long, thick eyelashes surrounding them. His nose had a little bump, but, in a way, that made him seem more…different. His face was pale – paler than me, even. He had a chin that stuck out a little with a small dimple in it.

He didn't look like he belonged in this tiny town. He looked like…I don't know. Otherworldly, I guess.

But he wasn't cute. He wasn't ugly, either. He was face was a mix-match of features that didn't fit together, but, somehow, did.

I looked away, blushing harder.

Alice was right, before, when she meant I had to see Edward.

He smiled at me, and one side of his mouth lifted higher than the other. Oddly, this seemed to go with his face. A crooked kind of smile.

"Sorry. 'Scuse my language. I'm Edward." He held out his hand for me to shake, and I cautiously held out my hand for him to take. He gripped it firmly; his hand was cold and so much larger than mine. I looked up at him from under my hair, and he was still smiling at me.

"Bella," I finally answered. I gulped. My face felt like it was on fire.

He let go of my hand then, and shifted away from me and went to stand next to Emmett, who, I saw, did actually have a tattoo.

And that was it.

_That was it. _

Alice's friends didn't try to talk to me again or ask me any questions. I felt sort of disorientated, though people still came up occasionally. Edward didn't look at me again. Instead, he sort of wandered off by himself, and eventually disappeared among the trees and crowds of people.

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice didn't seem to notice, which I took to mean that he did that a lot. Took off, I mean, without telling anyone. I was kind of interested by Edward, I had to admit. That face of his made me want to look again, to see if someone _could _really look like that and still be real.

"Hey, Bella, if you want to take a break and go pick some apples, I'll take over for you."

Alice offered. I tried to ignore Jasper, whose hands were wrapped around her waist tightly.

"Thanks Alice." I stood up without further ado, and, waving good-bye at everyone, left to go apple-picking.

---

It was weird, I had to admit, seeing other people in the orchard, and stripping the apples from their trees. I wanted to go see how they picked them, and maybe amuse myself for a while, seeing how most of them didn't have ladders or anything, but decided I had had enough of people for the day.

I finally found my tree again, where, thankfully, no one else was. I decided just to stay up within the bottom branches, and pick one or two of those delicious apples. It was a little easier to go up a second tree, though I got a long scratch on my right arm that bled a little when I pushed the skin together.

When I was in the middle of eating my second apple, I saw Edward.

I panicked, and scrambled up to a crook in the tree where I was pretty sure I couldn't be seen. My apple got all dirty, and I laid it next to me. I tried to see what he was doing through the branches, but all I saw was his plaid jacket.

_Plaid jacket. _

He was the guy from Alice's picture.

Geez, I'm so unobservant. And stupid.

Then I smelled something that seemed out of place with all the apples and trees and sunshine. I sniffed harder, and I was surprised when I finally placed it.

_Cigarette smoke. _

Holy crow!

Edward _smoked_.

What the heck_?! _What—how old was he? Seventeen? Eighteen? And how old did you have to be to smoke? Eighteen or something, right?

Why did someone so _young_ smoke cigarettes?

Did Alice know about this? Or Jasper? His parents?

Maybe that's why he snuck off. To kill himself with drugs.

Despite knowing that somehow I was going to embarrass myself, I jumped down out of my tree, startling Edward so much that he jumped and dropped his cigarette on the ground. He quickly snuffed it out with his boot.

"What the hell? Where did you come from?"

I just looked at him.

"_What?" _

"Why were you smoking?"

"None of your business." He wiped his hand on his jacket.

"Oh, sorry, then for worrying about second-hand smoke. And your health. I won't do that again." I sounded firm, surprising myself, and started to climb back up the tree.

"Wait!" I turned back to look back at him, raising my eyebrows. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? You just surprised me, is all."

"Right."

"Seriously though, where did you come from?"

"I was in the tree." I pointed up to prove my point.

"You climbed that thing? Without a ladder?"

"Obviously."

"I'm impressed." He smiled unevenly, some of his teeth showing.

"Thanks, I suppose."

"No problem."

"You really shouldn't do that though." I said.

"What? Be impressed?"

"No, smoke. It can kill you. You shouldn't throw your life away like that. Life is precious." I blushed hotly and sat on the roots, wrapping my arms around my knees, trying to hide my embarrassment.

_Why do I talk to people?_

"Well, that's nice, that you care so much."

"You're welcome, I guess."

He coughed. I sat. We were silent.

"I better be going. They'll be wondering where I am." He finally said.

I nodded, and he left, leaving me alone with my dirty old apple and a cigarette.

* * *

**Sorry for the slow update!  
Liked it, loved it, hated it? Tell me in a review!  
(: **


	6. In Which She Stays

_But I tell you,  
When it comes to pleasin' me,  
It 's the dearest in the orchard,--  
Is that old apple-tree.  
_--The Old Apple Tree by Paul Laurence Dunbar

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Six: In Which She Stays **

* * *

Aunt Esme and Alice went to church the next morning. My mother and I stayed behind, citing the reason that we were both tired from all those people from yesterday and that we still had some unpacking to do. Well, at least Mom did. I had finished after everyone went home yesterday and we packed up all the apples to cart to other places.

I stayed in my bedroom long after the sound of Aunt Esme and Alice shutting the door behind them quieted. I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about yesterday, and how after Edward had left, and I finally gathered the courage to go back, Alice's friends offered for me to sit with them.

And what could have I said but yes? I mean, yes, they were all intimidating – not to mention upperclassmen – but they were kind of nice to me as well.

I groaned and rolled over on my side. Why was I trying to look on the bright side of things, when all it would lead to was disappointment? I was sure I would eventually become a nuisance to them, despite Alice's apparent of her happiness of my being here. I would just wind up sitting alone anyway. The sad little freshman sitting with the popular upper classman because her older cousin felt sorry for her. How pathetic.

If I saw that in a movie, I would so stop watching it.

Somehow, my thoughts lead from that back to Edward.

Edward. A different name, a different kind of face then what you usually saw around everyday mortals. A plethora of mix-matched puzzle pieces somehow managing to fit together to create his face.

I wondered if I would see him tomorrow, and then I blanched.

My first day of _high school. _

It kind of made me sad – okay…a lot sad – that Dad wasn't here to see me off. He had been excited for me to finally take that final step on my way to Adultdom. He made me watch all these 80s movies about high school – classics like _The Breakfast Club _and _Pretty in Pink _– and then disparage them to me, and then tell me what high school was _really _like.

But at least I didn't have my braces anymore. That would've been too much for me. I'm sure Aunt Esme would've loved to home school me… Well, at least I think so. My mom? Not so sure.

Aunt Esme had said last night at dinner that Mom didn't have to get a job, considering recent events and all, and that we were family, and we took care of each other. Because that's what family does – protects their own.

I had to admit, I felt pretty patriotic at that moment.

I lay back against my pillows, and watched the sunlight dance on the ceiling. It was so quiet. The silence pressed down on my ears. But it was so peaceful. I felt warm, covered up in my blankets, snuggled up in my cotton nightgown. It still fit from sixth grade, which my mother found astonishing.

I glanced at the clock. Eleven o'clock. Aunt Esme had said they would be back around noon, and that if I wanted anything to eat, there were plenty of leftovers in the fridge. I shrugged to myself. I wasn't all that hungry at the moment.

I went back to watch the shadows play with each other.

_Hey, Dad. First day of high school tomorrow. Wish you were here. I miss you. I wonder if you can even hear me. Bella. _

I sighed and tried to stop the tears from coming. I was strong, wasn't I? I didn't have to cry.

I stood up and went over to get _Dracula. _I shivered because the hardwood floor was freezing on my bare feet. I would seriously have to get some slippers sometime soon. Maybe I had some in my boxes.

I hoped those movers came here soon. I was getting pretty tired of the clothes that I had with me. I climbed back onto my bed, settled under the covers, and began to read about the seductive world of vampires.

---

I was broken out of my trance by a knock on the door. I looked, surprised, at the clock. Twelve forty-five? Already?

"Can I come in?" _Alice. _

"Sure. Come in."

Alice opened the door, and she bounced in and on top of my bed. She was wearing a pretty white dress, with lace embroidered at the hem. She smelled pretty; it was kind of a fruity, like melon or mixed berries. It was almost as nice as Aunt Esme's vanilla scent.

"'Sup, Bella?" She asked, a smile on her face.

"Nothing much. Just reading." I held my book up as evidence.

"_Dracula? _Seriously?" She shuddered. "Sorry. I read that in tenth grade – never again. Malknecht killed it. I mean, at first it was kind of cool, but then it was all _and what's the symbolism of this _or _why do you think Dracula was attracted to Mina _--gah. It was too much." She sighed.

"Um…okay." I looked nervously at her and then back at my book, not sure if she was going to take it from me or rip it into pieces.

"Sorry. I get a little over-excited about…everything." She laughed, and I smiled lightly at the sound. She had a pretty laugh. "But you'll get used to it, living with me. Oh, and beware when I PMS. I'm pretty evil." And she gave me this happy giggle that made me believe otherwise.

We paused for a second, just looking at each other. I was itching to get back to my book. It was just reaching the climax…

"So, what did you want?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing. I was just checking in on you." She smiled and looked at me.

I nodded at her, she at me.

"Okay, then." Knowing I was being rude, but not thinking of any other way to tell her to leave, I turned back to my book. Looked back up when saw she was still there, but her eyes not looking at me. I followed her eyes to the picture at my bedside table.

Me and my dad. I swallowed.

"You guys look happy in this picture." She commented after a while.

I nodded.

"You can tell he really loved you."

I nodded again, swallowing my tears, refusing to show them in front of Alice.

She looked at me again. "You're lucky you knew your dad, at least for a while. I have no idea where mine is. He left when I was, like, two months old. Or so I'm told."

My eyes sought hers. "Are you sad?" I whispered.

She shook her head. "Nope, not really. I mean, if I never knew him, how could I miss him?" She shrugged at me, her normally-happy eyes growing serious for a moment, before they brightened back up again. "Oh! I remember! We're having lunch in about forty-five minutes. Be warned – we have guests! So go get dressed, Bella."

Alice launched off the bed, and smiled at me again before closing the door behind her.

I sighed and leaned my head back against the headboard. Crap. Visitors. I hoped this didn't happen every Sunday. I looked back down at the page, and back at the clock. Well, surely I had enough time to just finish the next few pages…

---

The next time I looked back at the clock, I saw I only had about two minutes to get downstairs and get dressed. I flew off the bed, book-marked my page, and got out a bra (though I didn't really need one), _Ole Miss _sweatshirt, and jeans. I had no idea where I got it, considering that neither of my parents went there. It was just one of those things where it's always been there, and you never question it.

I shimmied my nightgown off, pulled on all my clothes and my hair back in a ponytail because I knew I didn't have enough time to brush it through to make it look nice. I pinched my cheeks and left before turning around and grabbing my fuzzy socks.

I skipped two steps at a time as I went downstairs. I jumped the last step, almost fell, but caught myself on the banister. I slid my socks on all the way up and continued into the living room. I was hit instantly with the smell of bacon and eggs. So we were having breakfast for lunch. Interesting.

I heard strange voices coming from the kitchen, and I went to investigate. I stopped short of the door and peeked around the corner. My mouth fell open – Edward, and another guy with blonde hair. It wasn't Jasper, though. Aunt Esme smiled up at him, and then spotted me.

"Bella! Come on in!"

I shut my mouth, blushing at the sudden looks my way. Edward glanced at me, and held my eyes for a moment. My heart beat stuttered, and I automatically put my hand up to my chest. I gave a pained smile.

"Bella, this is Carlisle. And I'm sure you met Edward yesterday." She smiled at Edward, and he patted her cheek familiarly. I raised my eyebrows, wondering how he got away with that, but then Carlisle started talking.

"Hello, Bella. Nice to meet you." He walked over to me, and shook my hand firmly, like Edward had. I wondered if they were father and son, but they looked to different for me to be sure.

"Hello…um…I'm not sure what to call you."

"Just call me Carlisle." He said, smiling, his eyes crinkling up at the corners.

"Okay…Carlisle." I smiled nervously. As soon as he let go of my hand, I went in search of Alice. I found in her in a room adjacent to the living room that I hadn't noticed before. I cleared my throat, and she looked up from where she was setting the table.

"So…who is that guy?"

The guy…oh. That's Carlisle."

"And who exactly is Carlisle?"

Alice raised her eyebrow at me. I would have to practice that in the mirror sometime.

She smirked at me. "He goes to our church. My mom kind of has a thing for him..."

"Seriously?" I turned around in the direction I had come from. "How old is that guy? Like, thirty?"

Alice laughed. "No, he's about forty-three."

My eyes bugged out. "No way."

"Way."

"But isn't Aunt Esme, like, thirty-six?"

"Yup." Alice said, lips popping on the _p. _

"Isn't that kind of old for her?" I asked timidly.

"Not for her, anyway, if the way she flirts with him is any indication. She thinks I don't see, but I see." Alice grabbed some salsa and threw it carelessly to the middle of the table. I waited a couple minutes, gauging her mood before I asked my next question.

"So you don't mind…if, you know, he marries Aunt Esme?"

"I don't know." Alice shrugged, not seeming bothered by my question. "I mean, I want for her to be happy, and if he makes her happy, then…" She shrugged again. "Who am I to say no to her happiness?"

I paused for another moment before asking another question. "So you won't think you'll be…I mean…you don't think that your father will be replaced? You won't be angry?"

Alice huffed, and I stopped, blushing, thinking I had gone too far.

But she wasn't angry. Well, not at me, anyway.

"Bella, no, I won't be angry."

Her tone ended the conversation, so I left it alone.

Just then, everyone from the kitchen came bustling in. My mother was a no show. I sighed, disappointed yet resigned. She didn't like meeting new people right now. Yesterday she had spent most of the day inside. When she did go out, it was a bit of a stretch to her.

"Alright everybody! Take your seats and then we'll pray…and then we feast!" There was a bustle as everyone went to claim where they would seat. And somehow, I ended sitting next to Edward.

Perfect.

* * *

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	7. In Which She Blushes

_In the essential prose  
of things, the apple tree  
__stands up, emphatic  
__among the accidents  
__of the afternoon, solvent,  
__not to be denied.  
_-- The Apple Tree by Wendell Berry

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Seven: In Which She Blushes**

* * *

I immediately tried to sniff the air around him to see if it smelled like cigarette smoke; it didn't. Instead, it smelled oddly like clovers and grass. My eyebrows pulled together; did he use cologne to cover it up? Did Carlisle know that he smoked?

I was interrupted from my sniffing by Edward's voice.

"Good afternoon, Bella." He smiled at me, one side of his mouth higher than the other.

And I was blushing, because he was smiling at me and he had a face that wasn't ugly.

"Hello, Edward." I smiled at him as well, trying to smile crookedly like he did.

He nodded his head politely at me in return.

Aunt Esme began to pray, and everyone bowed their heads and closed their eyes except for me. I took it as a chance to study Edward with his eyes closed.

"Dear Lord," Aunt Esme began. Edward's eyes twitched. "Thank You for the wonderful day yesterday." His eyelashes were incredibly long. And dark. Very dark, long eyelashes. Almost like a girl's. A girl would kill for those eyelashes. "And I am so very glad that nobody broke anything." A couple of muffled laughs. "Thank You also for providing this wonderful meal for us, and providing the opportunity for our beloved friends to visit us as well." Edward's lips twitched into a small smile. I held my breath. "Amen."

I quickly glanced away from Edward's face, and back across the table. Alice was looking at me with an eyebrow raised, almost like she could sense that I had watched him. I blushed, practically feeling the sweat dripping from my arm pits. I looked down at the table.

Aunt Esme began passing around all the food. When Edward passed me eggs, his fingertips grazed mine, and I felt fire race up my spine and down my body. I felt my face turn pale for once instead of red. I didn't take any and quickly passed it over to Alice.

It was quiet for a moment as everyone took their first few bites.

Carlisle began. "So, Isabella –"

"It's Bella, actually." Edward interrupted.

We all looked at him, surprised.

He shrugged at us. "What? That's her name."

"Alright, Bella. Are you excited for your first day of school tomorrow? First day of high school, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm kind of excited. A little nervous though." I gave a small smile, and but some bacon in my mouth.

"Yeah, starting a new school – especially high school – has got to be tough. I moved around a lot when I was your age, so I know how you feel." He smiled brightly at me, and I gave him another small smile.

"Don't worry, Carlisle." Alice said. "I'll be there to help her out." She winked and smiled at me. I smiled at her as well. "And so will Edward. Won't you, Edward?" She gave him a knowing look, and he laughed. I tried hard not to glare in embarrassment at Alice.

"Sure." He replied, still laughing. "I'll tell her all the boys she needs to avoid, because they'll –"

"Not at the table, Edward." Carlisle reprimanded.

Edward just laughed, while I blushed furiously.

Thankfully, I think Esme knew that I was in distress, and she turned the subject away from me starting school to when our stuff would arrive in the moving van.

"Bella, I think your stuff will be here in the next couple of days. I heard they got lost, but they'll be here soon. Don't worry if you run out of clothes. You can borrow some of Alice's things or we can take you shop—"

Alice's excited squeal interrupted her. "Yes! We'll take you shopping! That would be so much fun! We could be like sisters. Of course, I'd be the older sister and you'd be the younger sister. I've always wanted a little sister, you know. This would be the perfect opportunity to –"

"Um, y-you guys don't need to buy me anything." I said, mindful of what my mother's argument with Aunt Esme a while ago. "Really. You've done so much for me and my mom already."

Aunt Esme smiled, and I tried to ignore Edward's eyes on me.

"It will be no problem, Bella. You're my little brother's daughter." She gave me a look that made it seem like we were the only two in the room, until I broke the eye contact and put another piece of bacon in my mouth.

The only noise for a while was the sound of knives and forks against plates.

"I thought the message at church today was a good one." Carlisle said.

"_Absolutely."_ Aunt Esme gave him what I honestly could describe as a flirtatious smile. Geesh, I could see what Alice meant. She was so _obvious. _

Alice gave me a smirk from across the table, and covered her mouth to hide her laughter. I glanced at Edward, and he was trying to stifle laughter as well.

Carlisle and Aunt Esme proceeded to have a very flirtatious conversation. They obviously thought they were being sly. I was amused to see that Edward and Alice had tears streaming down their faces from trying not to laugh. First Alice would let out a giggle, and then Carlisle would glance at her with a quizzical look on his face and then put his hand quickly on Aunt Esme's arm, which made Edward snort, which made Alice try not to laugh harder.

I had to admit, I was feeling the tiniest, little bit jealous of their companionship. But it didn't matter, I told myself, in the long run. Because he was graduating this year anyways, and then I would never see his face – or his crooked smile – again.

With that in mind, I watched the banter of the four with tolerant amusement, until the eggs grew cold and the bacon disappeared, until the milk left stains on the glass cups, and until the clock turned its hands to three o'clock.

Carlisle stood up first. "Well, I guess we better get going."

Edward stood up as well. "Yeah, we should." He glanced at Alice, and she giggled. I bit my lip.

"Thank you for the wonderful lunch, Esme." Carlisle gave her a quick hug.

I wasn't sure about it, but I thought I could hear her sniffing him.

I guess it ran in the family.

--

"Alright girls," Aunt Esme said as soon as the door shut behind them. "You don't have to do the dishes. Alice, go help Bella with her school stuff, and get her ready for school tomorrow, okay?"

"Of course, Mother. Thank you." She kissed Aunt Esme's cheek, grabbed my hand, and dragged me up the stairs.

She started talking when we were halfway up. "I know it must suck starting school as soon as you get here" – she looked back at me – "but, it is my duty as your blood relative to make that transition as easy as possible for you. So don't you worry about thing, okay, Bella?" She tugged me around a corner and led me to her room.

It looked exactly the same as yesterday. Not that I was expecting much difference.

"So, yeah, this is my room. I bet you were expecting something pink, right?"

I blushed.

"Aha, got you, didn't I?" She smiled at me and then went over to her closet. "I'm sorry I forgot to give you your school supplies earlier, but with the whole picking thing this weekend, well…you know." She gave me a knowing smile.

I nodded.

"You can't help but forget. Right." I agreed.

She smiled brightly. "I picked it all out for you. I thought you might like light blue colors and brown. Am I right?" I nodded, and she handed me several grocery bags. "I already put your name on them, and all the other boring stuff."

I took them all. "Well, thanks." I gave her a half-smile. "That was really nice of you."

"No problem."

A pause.

"Well, if that's all…"

"Of course that's not all! Go put that stuff in your room, and then come back here. We're going to pick out your first day of school outfit!"

I felt a little queasy. "But…I already have…"

"Bella, really. I have the perfect thing in mind for you." She pleaded with me with her eyes. And then I remembered the conversation earlier, when she said she always wanted a little sister.

"Alright." I sighed. "Do you have a backpack for me?"

"Oh! Right!" She went back to her closet and pulled out a nondescript tan backpack. "This seemed your style."

She was right. "Thanks."

"Alright, go on and come right back!" She smiled and me and turned back to flip through her clothes.

"Okay." The bags were starting to make red marks on my arms, and I quickly went back to my room and put them on my bed. I stood there for a second, catching my breath. I went back to Alice's room.

She already had several outfits lined up on her bed.

"Geesh, that was fast." I commented as I sat down in a black rolly chair.

"One of my many talents." Alice put her hands on her hips. "So which one do you think is the best? No, actually, pick two of your favorites, and then we'll try those on and _then_ you can pick the one you think is best."

"Alright…" I looked at them nervously. I immediately skipped over the ones with the skirts, which crossed out three of the seven. I thought about the one with the vest, before crossing the one of as well. I disliked the one with the Cookie Monster t-shirt, so that left the slightly fuzzy white sweater and brown pants and the tank top with a jean jacket and jeans with holes in them.

"I kind of like those two." I pointed at them.

"I thought you might." She said and handed them to me. "Go change in the closet. It's a walk-in, so you should have enough room."

I took them carefully and walked over and shut the door behind me. I looked at all the racks of clothes and shoes in awe, and wondered how she could navigate through them so fast to pick out clothes for me.

"Alright in there, Bella?"

"Yeah, fine." I took off my current outfit and put the jacket one on first. I kind of liked the white sweater one better, so I was saving that one last. When I finished tugging on the jeans, I fixed my hair back up again, and stepped out.

Alice was in my seat, waiting impatiently.

She squealed, "Oh! Bella! That looks fabulous on you! Do you like it?" She wheeled a mirror over to me. I stared at her in surprise. She had a mobile mirror? "What do you think?"

I pivoted, and looked at myself critically. "I think the jacket is a little big on me."

She pursed her lips. "Yeah, you're right. But I still think it looks great. We can always find a different jacket. Go try on the other outfit."

I nodded and headed back in. I took off those clothes, folded them, and put them on the floor. When I grabbed the sweater off the floor, a light blue camisole that I hadn't noticed before fell off of it. I put that on first, and then the fuzzy sweater.

It was so _soft_. I felt cocooned in its warmth. I loved it immediately. I put on the brown pants. They felt like velvet. I rubbed my hand on it. Yes, definitely velvet.

I fixed my hair again back in a ponytail and went back out.

Alice gasped and didn't say anything.

"I really like this one." I said quietly, softly feeling the sweater.

"It looks perfect on you." She smiled and moved the mirror over to me.

My mouth fell open.

The sweater nicely contrasted with my brown hair, and it seemed like it made my eyes look bigger. The pants, instead of making look like a stick, seemed to make me look graceful. I smiled at myself.

"It would look better if you put your hair down." Alice said.

I did as she said. Of course it was messy, but she was right.

"It makes you look older." She smiled.

"Yeah, it does."

"I think we've found your first day of school outfit. You can wear the jean jacket for the second day."

I nodded, still feeling the soft sweater.

--

After dinner, and where my mother still didn't come out of her room, I took a shower and went to bed. Nervous butterflies fluttered in my stomach, and the tears fell down slowly down my face.

* * *

**Aww, poor Bella.  
Not that I'm going to stop writing this or anything, but how about a little review?  
Just to tell me what you think, of course. :)  
Review! **


	8. In Which She Starts School

_When autumn comes round, our apple tree is full of things to eat  
And apples hang from every branch to tumble at our feet.  
_-Our Tree by Marchette Chute

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Eight: In Which She Starts School**

**

* * *

**

Aunt Esme was in the front seat, Alice in the passenger's side. I was in the back, my brand new backpack leaning against my legs. I was trying to hold onto my sanity by watching all the trees fly past us. I wanted to tell Aunt Esme to slow down, that I wasn't ready to go to school just yet.

Leaving the warmth of the kitchen was probably one of the hardest things I had to do in all of my thirteen – almost fourteen – years. My mother had even gotten out of bed, with her eyes bleary and her pink coffee-stained robe on, to wish me good luck and kiss me on the cheek. I could feel the bones in her back when I hugged her good-bye.

My leg was jumping up and down nervously. My butterflies were much harder to contain than last night.

I was going back to school.

And not just any school.

High school.

Winston High School.

Dad wasn't there.

I was so screwed.

Alice had woken me up at six. I had only gone to sleep two hours before. I was tired, which probably wasn't good for the first day of school. She had brushed my hair with a fury, trying to curl it just right, while I just sat there, numb, trying to process in my mind that I was actually going back to school.

I wasn't ready. No way in hell was I ready for this. How could anybody be ready for this? This was so nerve-wracking. My hands had been shaking. I had hidden them in my lap so that Alice wouldn't see.

When we were finished getting dressed, Alice let me go to do whatever. I ended up going to my room, where I tried not to sob. Or hyperventilate.

Though I had promised myself I wouldn't, I got out the bracelet that Dad had gotten me for my thirteenth birthday. My lucky bracelet. I hid it under the sleeve of my white sweater, so that I wouldn't randomly cry at the sight of it all day.

I tugged back the sleeve now though, trying to gather strength from the brown and green charms – my two favorite colors.

"Ooh! Bella! I'm so excited! It'll be so great seeing everyone again after this long break. I'll get to see Jasper everyday! You will be sitting with us, right, Bella?" Alice suddenly spoke, breaking the silence.

"Yeah. Sure." I sounded breathless.

Alice turned around to look at me in concern. Aunt Esme glanced at me through the rearview mirror.

"Are you okay, Bella? You sound sick."

"I'm fine."

"Really? You don't look fine either."

Honestly? I felt queasy. "Really. I'm fine. Just a little nervous."

"Yeah, I remember my first day of high school." Alice sighed. "I think I puked. But it turned out alright."

Thanks for the encouragement. No, really. It's really helping my self-esteem.

Aunt Esme playfully slapped Alice. "You're not helping the poor girl, Al. Maybe some music will help." She raised her eyebrows at her.

"Right! I think a little of Britney would do for some empowerment."

I opened my mouth to protest, but Alice pushed some buttons, turned the volume up high, so she couldn't hear me. Not that she would listen anyway.

Alice sang along with every word.

"_Boy don't try to front, I-I know jus-just what you ah-ah-re. Nothing but a womanizer!" _

I slunk down in my seat. This really wasn't how I pictured my first day of high school.

"Eep! Bella! We're almost here!" Alice called over the loud music.

My heart started beating faster, until it felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. I glanced out the window. I tugged nervously at my sweater and wished that I hadn't worn something _quite _so restricting.

And slowly the car came to a stop. As I straightened up out of my slouch, I saw what seemed hundreds of kids hugging, kissing, and laughing with each other, catching up from over summer break. Some were already heading towards the front entrance of the school.

When Alice got out of the car, Britney Spears still blasting, lots of heads turned to look.

And a huge herd of people rushed over.

I heard Alice laughing as she shut the door behind her, waving at me to hurry up. She started walking away.

I didn't want to leave.

And then the music turned off, and it was suddenly quiet.

"It'll be okay, Bella." Aunt Esme turned around and patted my leg.

I gulped, and looked at her, panicked.

"Alice will be there to help you," she reminded me.

I unbuckled my seat belt.

"'Atta girl." She smiled. "Now come give Aunt Esme a hug, and then you can leave." She held out her arms, and I slid forward and hugged her. I breathed in her nice vanilla perfume, and felt my heart slow down a little.

She pulled back. "Your dad would be so proud to see you now." She got tears in her eyes as she said it.

"Really?" I choked.

"Yes, really." She wiped a few stray tears of mine away. "Now go out there and play nice with the other kids, okay?" She softly patted my hair, and I began to feel some courage that let me stand up and get out of the car.

"See you later, Aunt Esme."

"Bye, my Bella," she called and put her sunglasses on.

And I closed the door.

And watched as the car screeched _good-bye_.

And then I suddenly felt all my courage melt away.

I looked nervously at the front doors of Winston High. People stood in small and large crowds on the surrounding front steps. I swallowed my extra spit anxiously, not sure how to approach. Normally, I had a small group of friends that I entered with, but they had been left behind when I moved here.

I kind of wished that I had them now.

I wrapped a hand rightly around a backpack strap, which was casually slung around one shoulder. Looked back to where Alice was, surrounding by all her bunches of friends. Looked at the door, where my doom awaited me. I fiddled with my bracelet uncertainly.

And then I felt a hand abruptly fall heavily on my shoulder.

I yelped and turned around.

A large form towered over me. I blinked up, and I recognized Emmett. His tattoo was showing.

"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to startle you." He smiled charmingly.

I nodded, and I felt eyes all over me. I was too scared to see who.

"Do you need some help?" he asked after I didn't say anything.

"Yes, please." I said gratefully.

He chuckled. "Alright, freshman. Follow me."

I allowed a half-smile to cross my face as I followed him up the stares. I saw a couple other girls, who looked to be my age, staring at me and whispering. I flushed and hurried to catch up with Emmett.

There was an even larger crowd in the lobby.

It smelled like first-day-of-school, where everything was freshly cleaned and mopped and everything. That smell had always freaked me out. But it freaked me out even more, because the lobby had a look that screamed _This is high school. We are here to kill you. Have a nice day. Hope you enjoy the smell of our cleaning supplies. _

"Hurry up, freshie." I looked to see where Emmett had gone, and hurried to catch up with him. He led me over to a table that had three lines. He led me to the third line, and he moved over to the second one.

"These lines are to get your schedules and your map. I just need my schedule. They're organized by alphabetization," he explained.

I nodded at him. "Thanks," I said.

"No prob…freshie."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

Emmett cracked a smile, but then got distracted by some other guys coming up to him.

My time with the famous senior was over. I felt a little relieved.

The girl in front of me turned around, smiling. She had dark, wavy hair with big black eyes – though I supposed they were really a dark brown – and was on the short side.

"Hi, I'm Jessica. Jessica Stanley." She held out her hand. It was very tan.

"Isabella Swan. Just call me Bella though." I took her hand and shook it quickly. I felt pale as a ghost next to her.

"New, right? I don't remember you from eighth grade." She smiled friendlily.

"Yeah, I'm new."

She leaned in a little close to me. "How'd you get _Emmett McCarty _to talk to you?"

"Oh, well, um…" I stuttered, a little overwhelmed at the sudden intenseness.

"Jessica!" somebody screeched from behind me.

"Lauren!" Jessica screeched back. She held out her arms, and I moved just in time to avoid getting run over.

They jumped up and down, laughing and giggling. Lauren's long blonde hair flew up in my face. I coughed when it got in my mouth.

The girls hugged each other, managing to bump into a few people. They looked back at them, annoyed, but they barely noticed. The line had also not moved an inch. What were those people DOING up there, exactly?

"Oh my god! It's been so long since the last time I saw you!"

"You grew out your layers? Oh, and are those high lights I see? My, my, someone has started to grow up –"

"Yeah, I got them dyed at this place my mom goes too. But _you _got a nice summer tan. How was Miami?"

"Just _fabulous…_"

And they blabbered on, not noticing when the line finally moved up a couple of inches.

I felt that familiar shyness creep into my stomach. How could I tell them to move?

"Hey, could you girls get a move on?" an annoyed voice called from the back of the line.

"Whatever, loser!" Lauren said and they moved up the obligatory few steps.

I was glad I hadn't said anything, when the two suddenly set their sights on me.

"Oh, and who is this?" Lauren narrowed her blue eyes at me. I felt my stomach drop.

"That's Isabella Swan. She's new," Jessica eagerly explained. I opened my mouth to correct to her, but Lauren started talking.

"Hmm." She eyed me over. I kind of felt like a slug. "Well, hi. I'm Lauren Mallory."

I nodded in greeting.

"You could say something back," she snapped.

"Hello," I said quietly.

"So, where ya from?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah, where are you from?" Jessica echoed.

"I'm from Arizona," I said.

Their eyes widened. "How exotic. Is it really hot there?" Jessica asked.

Obviously, she wasn't the brightest crayon in the box.

I nodded.

"Did you have a pool in your back yard? I heard from my cousin who heard from her friend that practically _everyone _has a pool in their backyard." Lauren's eyes bored into mine.

I looked nervously between the two of them, wondering how to conduct this

conversation, when –

"Hey, Bella." a familiar voice called. I looked to see who.

Edward.

I blushed hotly and waved shyly at him. He smiled at me and continued walking wherever.

Lauren and Jessica looked at me with utter shock on their faces: jaws dropped, eyes bugging, not blinking. Or breathing.

"Could you guys please move up?" the person behind me asked.

The slowly turned around and walked up a few more steps.

"_You _know _Edward Cullen?_" Jessica screeched.

"How the fuck did you manage that?" Lauren demanded.

"You're only a freshman!"

"How the hell do you know him?"

"You just moved here!"

"She also knows _Emmett_," Jessica whispered.

Lauren glanced wide-eyed at the person himself, standing a few feet away. "No way."

"Yeah, she was just talking to him," Jessica argued.

I swallowed and fiddled with my bracelet, while they went on and on and on.

"Seriously, Isabella. How do you know those guys?"

Then we were at the front of the line, thank god.

"Jessica Stanley," she said to the person handing out schedules. They dutifully went through the large stack and handed Jessica hers.

"Lauren Mallory."

"You're supposed to be in the other line."

"Can't you just give me my schedule? I made a mistake. The line is huge." Lauren gave a little pout, and the person rolled his eyes.

"Can you get Mallory, Lauren?" he asked the person next to him.

"Isn't she supposed to be in this line?" she asked.

"Yes. Can you just do it?" he grumbled. My eyebrows lifted in surprise.

She sighed, dug through, and handed it to him. He handed it to Lauren, who smiled and stood to the side with Jessica.

"Swan, Isabella, please."

"You're the first one to say please," he said wryly as he dug through the stacks. "Do you need a map?"

I nodded.

"Here you go, sweetie. Isabella." He smiled and handed a packet and the map to me. I moved to the side, where Jessica and Lauren were.

"How'd you get a map?" Lauren asked.

"He asked me if I wanted one," I said.

"Huh."

"Let's compare schedules!" Jessica cried.

"Hope we get homeroom together." Lauren commented.

They both closed their eyes, while I watched, trying to keep from puking from nerves.

"One, two, three. OPEN!" The ripped open the packet and pulled out their schedule.

"Who'd you get for homeroom?"

"Mead. You?"

"Nicholson. Damn. Second?"

"I have Spanish I."

"Me too!"

The high-fived each other. "Score!"

I leaned against the wall, a little away from them and opened my own schedule.

Hmm. Mead for homeroom. Great. I had to start the day off with Jessica.

Spanish I. Fantastic. Two classes in a row. Algebra. English. Lunch. Science. World Regions – fancy name for social studies. P.E. And then…Drama.

_DRAMA?_

I did NOT sign up for that. There must be some kind of mistake. Distressed, I looked around for someone that I could complain to.

"Who'd you get for homeroom, Isabella?" Jessica asked, interrupting my desperate search for someone resembling an administrator. Lauren looked on with vaguely interested eyes.

"I got Mead too."

Jessica squealed, and I resisted the urge to cover my ears. As it was, I did flinch.

"Hey, do you want to get there early, and get a good seat near the back?" she asked, smiling.

"Uhh…" I glanced at the two nervously. It would be nice to enter with someone…and maybe make a few friends. "Sure. Do you guys know how to get there?"

"Yeah, I got a tour over the summer." Jessica grabbed my hand, and with the other took Lauren's. So much for personal space. "I know where _everything _is."

He palm was slightly sweaty and warm, but I held my tongue.

She started to take us down one hallway, but, again, another hand fell on my shoulder. However, this hand was familiar. Alice.

"Hey, Bella," Alice's cheerful voice said.

Lauren and Jessica stared at me with wide-eyes. Right then, I sort of wished Alice wasn't there.

"Do you need any help getting to your classes?" she asked, ignoring the other two.

"Oh, that's okay Alice. She has us," Jessica burst out. Lauren not-so-subtly slapped her stomach. "We're helping her."

Alice looked at them and smiled.

They blushed.

Wow.

"So you'll be okay with those two, right?"

I nodded, unsure.

"Alright, see you at lunch." Alice patted my shoulder and went back with her friends.

Jessica started dragging us down the hall again.

"How the hell do you know all these people? And especially _Alice Brandon!_ I bet next Rosalie Hale is going to come up and offer to take you on a _shopping trip!_"

They both looked at me expectantly.

"Alice is my cousin." I shrugged, trying to ignore their burning stares.

"Okay, you are so going to get us in," Lauren said, wiping her mouth with lip gloss.

"In where?"

"You know…in. With the Popular Kids."

"Yeah, you know all of them," Jessica explained as if I was dumb.

Lauren and Jessica high fived each other.

My first day of high school, and I'm already being used.

Great.

After we – that is, Jessica and I, not Lauren – found Mr. Mead's room, practically all the hallways were empty and the bell was one minute away from ringing. I sighed. First day of school and already late. I wondered if this would happen to me every day, and if I would have to walk with Jessica every morning.

The thought made me cringe.

I sternly told myself to be grateful for Jessica's help and that she was willing to show me around, but it was hard with her high voice grating on my ears. And the fact that she brought up Alice about every five minutes wasn't helping much either.

Luckily, when we finally arrived at Mr. Mead's, he wasn't all that bothered that we were late.

"Freshmen," he said, "never know where they're going."

I nodded and took a seat near the front because all the other ones were taken. Jessica had to sit two rows back from me, and she made her displeasure known by some extreme pouting. I sighed.

"Alright class. I am Franklin Mead – not meat, feed, or feet. _Mead_. I will be your homeroom teacher for the rest of your freshmen year. Lucky you." He glanced pointedly at me, and I flushed. A couple people chuckled.

"I am sure you are all eager to get your locker assignments and combinations" - cue excited squeals, while I thought _we have lockers?_ - _"_but I have to go through school rules first!"

Groans.

"Yes, rules are essential for high living, as you will find out this year and later in life." He glanced across the room at everyone. They shifted in their seats, while I watched my desk, a little unimpressed. "Normally, this is a fifteen minute period, but as it is the first day of school and we are getting everything situated – and of course, there are those rules we have to go over – this class will be forty-five minutes long, and your other classes will be shortened to twenty minutes…"

That's when I turned Mr. Mead out. I leaned my head against my hand, tired, bored, and, though it was a weird emotion to feel, jaded.

I traced the lines of my desk for a while, until a small smack to my arm made me jump.

"Excuse me," the girl next to me whispered. "Sorry for hitting you, but we have to get out a folder, a piece of paper, and a writing utensil."

I nodded at her in thanks.

I leaned over and got out my backpack from underneath my seat.

"Hey," the girl whispered again, "I'm sorry if I hurt you, but it looked like you spaced."

I half-smiled and got out the essentials.

"I'm Angela Webber," she introduced herself.

She looked at me, clearly expecting me to answer.

"Isabella Swan," I replied. "Just call me Bella."

Angela smiled, and Mr. Mead called the class to attention.

"Alright, before we do all the boring stuff, I want you to write a paragraph telling me about yourself. Make it interesting; don't start off with 'My name is…' and the rest. Make it _zesty._"

"Did he seriously just say _zesty_?" Angela giggled at me.

I shrugged. "I guess."

Angela giggled again, but stopped when Mr. Mead gave her a look.

I looked down at the blank piece of paper, clicking the pen nervously. I wrote down my name at the top, along with the date: _September 2, 2009, _and then wrote Mead in capital letters below that.I bit my lip anxiously, wondering how to start.

Hmmm…

_I was born on a Friday the thirteenth, which, I suppose, makes me an unlucky kid. It was September, and a heat wave was happening in the desert that was Phoenix, Arizona. My mother wasn't expecting me this early – I actually had a due date in November…_

And from there, it was surprisingly easy to write. I had practically written my life story – I was named after Isabella Rossellini and my grandma Marie and at seven I wanted to be a baker – when Mr. Mead asked for the papers to be picked up.

I had written a full page, and some on the back.

"An over-achiever, are we?" the boy who had been picked to get all the papers inquired. He had pretty blue eyes and spiky blonde hair.

I shrugged, blushed, and handed him the paper.

Angela stared wide-eyed at me.

"Geesh, Bella. I barely wrote three sentences."

I didn't know how to respond to that without sounding rude. Or stupid.

"Good job class. You just finished your first high school assignment." He applauded. "Now, let's talk about those rules…"

* * *

**Alright, I decided to stop there because this chapter was getting too long. I actually have split it up into two parts, but the next part still needs to be edited and such. (: The next chapter will include the rest of Bella's first day of school and the aftermath. **

**cullenlovesyouu: It's going to be a journey until Edward and Bella get together. And remember – they only just met. Lots of teenaged angst coming your way. **


	9. In Which She is Followed

_I let my neighbours pass me, ones and twos  
And groups; the latest said the night grew chill,  
And hastened: but I loitered, while the dews  
Fell fast I loitered still.  
_--An Apple-Gathering by Christina Georgina Rosetti

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Nine: In Which She is Followed**

* * *

**NOTE**: Translations are at the bottom.

* * *

"I am _so _glad we have Spanish together, Isabella!" Jessica said as we looked at my map. We were in the middle of a busy hallway on the second floor, trying vainly to locate Ms. Goff's Spanish I room. Well, at least, I was. Jessica seemed pleased to be talking, though she didn't seem bothered that I wasn't really paying attention. "I mean, I'm half Spanish myself you know. Or, well, a quarter. On my mom's side. But that doesn't matter. And Lauren is going to be in that class!"

Ah, there. It seemed to be on the _right _side of the hallway, not the left. I started walking away. Jessica jogged to keep up with me.

"You, me, and Lauren are going to have bunches fun!" She squealed. "Mrs. Goff won't be able to keep us from talking. Of course, our Spanish will be perfect – my mom will be able to help with that…"

I fiddled with my bracelet and smiled at her. We reached the front door, where Mrs. Goff was waiting.

"Welcome to Spanish I, _chicas._ _Espero que las niñas tienen un buen rato_." She smiled warmly and waved us in.

Jessica glanced nervously at me. "I have no idea what she just said. Do you?"

I shook my head.

"Phew. Well, at least I'm not the only one who felt like an idiot. Oh! Look! There's Lauren." Jessica tugged at my sweater sleeve and went back to sit with Lauren, who was surrounded by boys.

Okay, there were three of them. But in my book that was practically a swarm.

"Hey, JJ. How was Mead?"

"Eh, he was okay. Nicholson?"

"Total bee-yotch. Right, Tyler?" She addressed the boy with brown hair.

"Yeah." He seemed more preoccupied with Lauren's cleavage than with the conversation. "Total bitch."

Well, she was kind of…endowed.

"She was so prissy. And her outfit, Jess. Oh my God. Someone please _shoot _her and bury her in a casket and get it over with, you know?" She giggled and Jessica laughed along with her.

I stood behind Jessica, dithering whether I should just go find my own seat or wait until class started.

Lauren decided for me. "Hey, guys, meet Isabella Swan. She's new." The three guys looked up from her chest to meet my eyes.

She started introducing me to her 'friends'.

"This is Tyler Crowley." She pointed out the boy with the brown hair. He waved at me. "And this is Eric." She made a face and poked him in the arm. He had black hair and lots of zits all over his face. "And this…this is Mike Newton."

He was the kid from my homeroom.

"Oh, the over-achiever. Hey." He smiled at me.

Jessica glared at me, though I didn't know why.

I waved at him. He waved back.

I stood there for an extra moment before deciding to sit down at the nearest desk. Just then, Mrs. Goff entered.

"Alright class! We will start with assigning seats!" She shut the door behind her. "_I _will assign you a seat, and it is where you will sit for the rest of the year. We have to be quick about it because we only have…eh, fifteen minutes or so." Right as she finished saying that, someone knocked on the door.

"One moment, _por favor_." She turned and let the person in

A boy, who looked to be about my age, maybe older walked in. He had tan skin with shoulder-length black hair. I looked at the other students for their reaction; he seemed to be the only one who wasn't white at this school.

"Thank you for joining us…?"

"Jacob. Jacob Black."

"Alright, Jacob, please pick a seat. We were about to start assigning seats." She smiled at him and turned to pick a clipboard.

While her back was turned, Jacob looked right at me and winked.

I slunk down in my seat, blushing furiously. I pulled some of my hair across my face and looked down at my lap.

Geesh, I embarrass _myself. _

"_Bueno, _let's start with…Jacob. You're the first on our list. Please move to this row. Yes, right at the front."

Jacob Black raised his eyebrows at me as he passed.

Mrs. Goff continued down the list. I ended up two seats behind Jessica, and an aisle away from Lauren. Mrs. Goff went over her list of rules; she kept emphasizing the fact that no gum was allowed in her classroom.

Pretty soon after she finished her story about how her fifth period class last year was the best class Spanish I class she ever had and how she expected us to live up to their standards – which of course made every one feel very welcome – the bell rang for the next class.

"Have a good day class, and be sure to bring your supplies for class tomorrow!" Mrs. Goff called as we all left.

Right.

"Hey, new girl!"

I kept walking, trying to ignore the voice of Jacob Black. Maybe he would think that I hadn't heard him or something. I hurried past a few more people.

But he caught up with me.

"Hey, Isabella." He said, tapping me on my shoulder. He sounded out of breath.

"It's Bella." I corrected.

"Bella, right."

I continued walking, waiting for him to talk first.

"You a freshman?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Sophomore. Do you need some help getting to your next class?"

I shrugged carelessly, trying to ignore the big black eyes staring directly at my person.

"What's your next class?" He asked patiently.

"Algebra." I said.

"Which teacher?"

"Uh…Philips."

He nodded. "That's on the first floor…and whaddya know, right by _my _next class." He acted surprised when he looked down at his schedule.

I nodded again, biting my lip.

"Guess we'll get to know each other pretty well this year, eh, Bella?" He chuckled, nudging me playfully.

I forced a smile.

"C'mon, it's just down this way."

I shuffled after him.

He led me down a staircase, and then took a left, and then a right and then down another short hallway.

"Here you go, Bella. Have a nice day." He smiled at me and entered a classroom.

I sighed in relief and entered the Algebra room. A couple people were already there. I didn't recognize anyone, which made me sort of pleased, and I took a seat near the back and right next to a window. I slid my backpack off, got out a binder and labeled it algebra.

I stared out the window while I waited for class to start.

Someone slid in next to me, and I sighed, trying to keep my concentration on the outside world.

"Still spacing out, I see." A female voice commented.

I turned to see who it was. Angela.

I nodded and went back to looking outside.

"You know, normally, I'm considered the quiet one, but you far surpass me. Maybe you can take the title of Most Quiet this year."

Really? She was considered quiet? She never stopped talking.

"See? Another person would respond to that, but you don't. I find it kind of refreshing."

I turned to her and gave her a confused look.

"Oh, you know, our school is mostly made up of talkers." She gave me a pointed glance as she got out her stuff. "But you aren't. It's like your own little world or something."

I smiled. "Lots of people at this school seem very close."

Angela tried to hide her surprise by me talking. "They are. Everyone is always hugging or laughing or kissing or tickling each other. And when someone new comes along, they're just part of the group immediately. It's like they _expect _you to become friends with them, like, right then."

I nodded, thinking back to Lauren's and Jessica's response to me, like we already knew each other forever.

"I was new here last year, so I know pretty well."

As if to prove her point, someone passed her and mussed her hair. Angela blushed and slapped his hand away.

"Ben, stop it." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Sorry you find my hand so offensive, Ang." He replied in mock hurt.

She rolled her eyes again and Ben sat behind us.

I tried to stifle my sigh.

"I heard from Samantha that Mr. Philips lets us pick our seats."

"That's awesome. I'm going to be bugged by you all year."

I pulled back my sweater sleeve and began fiddling with it.

"I'm not that bad, Angela." He tugged on her braid.

"This is going to be a long year," Angela moaned.

I wholeheartedly agreed.

---

"Are you sure you don't want to sit with us, Bella?" Lauren asked, as we entered the lunch room.

"I promised Alice." I shrugged at her.

"Well, you'll have to sit with us tomorrow then or sometime soon." She said as she headed off in the opposite direction.

I didn't say anything, and she kept walking away. It was like in English class, which was where we just left. She kept talking, I didn't say anything, and she didn't notice.

I leaned against the wall, wondering where Alice was. After a few minutes of restless waiting, I spotted her. She was holding hands with her boyfriend, Jasper. It was kind of weird seeing her outside the house. I walked over to her.

"Hey, Bella." She said. "I'm going to go get some lunch. Want to come with?"

I shook my head. I already had packed my lunch.

"Okay, well, our table is over there – where Rose is sitting. You see? Okay, well, I'll see in a few." She smiled, and Jasper wrapping his arm around her waist, walked over to the long lunch line.

I blushed, watching them, and then I hurried over to the table.

A couple kids watched me in shock as I made my way over to their table. Even more watched as I sat down near Rosalie. Their eyes swung over to her, awaiting her reaction.

But she didn't say anything except a simple, "Hello, Bella." And she went back to texting on her cell phone.

I bobbed my head at her in greeting, though she didn't seem to notice. That was a first for today. I decided I liked it. I got out my smushed brown paper bag out from my back pack, and laid it out on the table.

I stared at it for a second before taking out the sliced apple and juice box. The apple's white insides were now a little brown, but I liked it that way. It made it taste sweeter.

"You brought your lunch, really?" Rosalie asked as she flipped her phone off and stuck in it her pocket.

I nodded and took a bite of my apple.

Rosalie grunted and played with a straw wrapper.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned. Jessica.

"Hiya, Isabella. How was the rest of your –" and then she faked surprise. "Oh, hello Rosalie. How are you today?"

"Fine."

Jessica looked absolutely delighted at the response. "Well, I hope you sit with us soon, Bella. And, of course, Rosalie, you're always invited."

She nodded and got out her cell phone again.

"Bye, Isabella." She tapped me once more on the shoulder and bounced away.

"She seems nice." Rosalie observed.

I shrugged. "She's been following me all day."

Rosalie laughed. I smiled and took another bite of my apple.

Alice slide in next to me then, Jasper on the other side of her. She had gotten a taco salad and strawberry milk.

"Yo, Bella. How was your day?"

Rosalie answered for me. "She's being stalked by a freshman."

Alice raised her eyebrows at me. "Boy?"

"No, girl." Rosalie replied.

Alice looked disappointed. "Well, I guess the sweater didn't work then."

"Oh, don't worry. I saw plenty of guys checking her out." Rosalie comforted. She winked at me, while I stared at my apple in horror.

_Apple, why must I be surrounded by weirdos? _

Alice squealed. "Yay! Bella's becoming a hottie!"

I winced.

"Who's becoming a hottie?" Emmett broke in. He slid into the seat on the other side of me, next to Rosalie.

"Bella."

Emmett laughed and clapped me hard on the back. I almost choked on my apple.

"Oh, sorry."

"It's okay."

"So Bella's becoming a hottie. How do we know?"

"Oh, you know, guys checking out her ass. The usual." Rosalie said.

Again, I looked down at Apple in horror.

"Rose, watch the language." Alice scolded.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Bella can stand it." She winked at me.

"Well, you know I don't like it."

"Don't like what?" A new voice broke in.

I dared look up from Apple. Edward.

I tried not wonder to much about why I blushed.

"Rose cursing. Or you cursing. You're the worst of them all."

Edward snorted and sat in the seat across from me. I took a deep breath and held it for five seconds, before letting it go.

"Hello, Bella." Edward smiled politely before he dug into his spaghetti with abandon.

"Hi," I replied shyly. I was so quiet I could barely hear myself.

Edward smiled at me again before taking another bite.

His smile was a nice smile. I liked his smile.

Smile, smile, smile…

I had a sudden memory of Dad; it hit me with a sudden force that I lost my breath for a second.

"_C'mon Bella. Let's go play some ball." He smiled that reckless smile, his skin crinkling up, and his eyes sparkling. _

_Dad had always loved baseball. _

_I had always hated baseball. I would much rather play on the computer or watch T.V. then do it. _

_But when Dad smiled like that, I was helpless. _

_Groaning, I stood up slowly from the computer chair. "Fine."_

_He smiled even wider. _

"'_Atta girl, Bells. Go get dressed. I'll wait down here."_

I pulled back violently from the memory. Tears had suddenly filled my eyes. I stood up abruptly from the table, and ignoring the stunned looks, I left behind my lunch, and ran out of the cafeteria. I looked around wildly for a bathroom to hide in.

I went down the hallway corridor I was currently in. After I passed a few doors, I found one.

There were a few older girls in there, checking their make-up.

As I passed, one of them asked, "Hey, are you okay?"

I ignored them and went all the way down to the last stall.

I slammed it shut behind me and locked it. I leaned against the toilet, trying to weep as softly as possible.

I heard echoes of the girls voices from down the way.

"I hope she's alright." The girl from before asked.

"She's probably PMSing or something. C'mon, let's go." Another girl said.

"Okay." She sounded a bit guilty. I heard some shuffling, a door opening, and then silence.

I waited a few moments before letting loose.

Sobs made shudder hard. My pain ached with loss and missing him.

_I want my daddy. I want my daddy. I want my daddy back. _

I slammed my fists against the wall, trying to make the pain go away. If I could spend the rest of my life numb, I would.

_…_

I don't know how many minutes passed before Alice was there.

"Bella?" Her voice called.

I stifled my cries, trying to hide. It was hard. I couldn't breathe.

"Bella? Please come out." Alice's voice sounded desperate.

I shook harder. I bit my lip so hard the skin broke and I was bleeding.

I was embarrassed. Maybe if I kept quiet enough, she would go away, and I could cry in peace…

"Bella. I know you're in here. Please come out."

"A-a-alice?" I finally said.

"Bella." Her voice sounded relieved.

"I'm in the last stall."

"Okay." Her footsteps came quickly. She shook the stall door gently. "Bella, the door's locked. You have to open it."

I stood shakily up, having to grip the toilet for support. My hand was shaking as I unlocked the door.

Alice looked worriedly up at me.

I threw myself at her, sobbing into her neck. Her smell made me feel safer. I tried to sniff harder. She smelled like cinnamon – like Christmas.

"What's wrong, Bella?" She soothed, smoothing my hair down.

"I-I-I miss my d-d-dad." I snuffled.

"Really?"

I nodded.

"We were worried we said something wrong." She patted my back.

I shook my head.

"I h-had a m-memory of my dad. I-It hurts, Alice. It hurts _so bad_."

"I know. I know how you feel."

I pulled back to see her face. She was crying too.

"I don't have a dad either, remember?

Right then, I felt like Alice _got _me. She understood where I was coming from.

I felt like our relationship changed at that moment.

---

The rest of the day passed in a blur. After Alice calmed me down, she made me look presentable enough to leave the bathroom and go back to the lunchroom. When I returned the table, there was an awkward silence. But Emmett made it go away when he brought up the totally random topic about squirrels and what they were doing to the environment.

Everyone laughed. After a while, things settled down, and everyone glanced at me every fifteen seconds instead of five. Alice glanced at me once in a while as if to check on me, and I gave her a reassuring look in return.

When lunch had finished up, Lauren and Jessica practically attacked me with questions about why I ran out of the lunchroom earlier. I shrugged off their questions and went to go look for my next class. I got lost looking for my science class, but a helpful teacher pointed me in the right direction. It turned out Mike was in that class as well; thankfully I didn't have to sit by him. I sat happily half-way across the room.

My freak-out was still in my mind as I went to the rest of my classes. It made the day drag on unnecessarily. I hoped I would eventually gain enough self-control over my emotions that I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom and sob every time I had a memory of my Dad.

But finally the day ended. Aunt Esme was waiting outside for us in her car.

"So, how was everybody's first day back?"

Alice glanced back at me and turned on the radio. "It was great."

Aunt Esme looked back at me for conformation.

"Yeah. Fantastic."

She smiled at me.

"Well, that's good, because you're going to have to go back tomorrow!"

Alice groaned good-naturedly. I just smiled. Or I tried an approximation of a smile.

--

When I went to bed, I wept quietly into my pillow.

I really didn't want to go to school tomorrow.

* * *

TRANSLATIONS:

_chicas_ = girls  
_Espero que las niñas tienen un buen rato_ = I hope you girls have a good time  
_Por favor_ = please  
_Bueno_ = Ok, well

**As always, review! :) It would be much appreciated! **


	10. In Which She Has Her Books Back

_Thus must it be, when willingly you strive  
throughout a long and uncomplaining life,  
committed to one goal: to give yourself!  
And silently to grow and to bear fruit.  
_--The Apple Orchard by Rainer Maria Rilke

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Ten: In Which She Has Her Books Back**

* * *

At school the next day, things were a little easier. That's not to say it wasn't hard, but it was just a little easier to deal with. I had asked Alice in the car ride over if she could take me to homeroom. She had looked at me quizzically, but she shrugged and agreed.

I didn't go to my locker, though Alice wanted me too. She told me she wanted to decorate it so that it would have some personality, but that was just too weird for me. Besides, I had a backpack.

I sat in the same seat in homeroom. I was the first one there; I didn't want to deal with all the crowds. Or Jessica and Lauren.

I had tried to convince myself that I shouldn't judge by first impressions. It was a wrong thing to do, and I knew Dad wouldn't have liked me to either. But it was hard. Normally, I just went with what my instincts told me about a person. What they said now: They just want you for Alice. If you like them, they'll hurt you.

Disappointment all around.

But I tried to smile anyway when Jessica came up to me immediately and started talking to me. She grew a little less interested in me when I didn't say anything.

Really, I hardly felt like talking anymore. It would be so much nicer if I could just spend the whole day not talking or putting on fake smiles. Just fade into the background…

Of course, that was when Mr. Mead closed the door and announced that a student of his went above and beyond yesterday with the writing assignment.

Guess who?

Yeah. Me.

Everyone stared at me in the awe that came with a teacher's praise. Or disgust. Didn't really matter which emotion – it all ended up with eyes on my face.

I wished Alice's jacket had a hood, so that I could hide my face in it. But since it didn't, all I did was slink down in my seat, blushing furiously. Angela gave me a sympathetic look, which kind of annoyed me.

I didn't need her sympathy.

Okay, I admitted to myself as Mr. Mead passed back the papers from yesterday, that was a little harsh. But still, I didn't want sympathy from anyone but Alice. Alice actually understood –

"You did a wonderful job, Bella." Mr. Mead said as he came by my desk. He patted me on the back and slid the paper over to me. On it was a sticker and a note that read I look forward to reading your essays in English class. Keep up the good work.

I tried to cool down my face with my hands. Really! I hated that I blushed so much.

Mr. Mead proceeded to take attendance, where I tried to cool myself down. I slid my jacket a little down my shoulders, though all I was wearing under it was a tank top. I was also wearing my hair down today, so I pulled some in front of my face so that it would cover me.

---

The next few hours of classes were a bore. We basically went over the rules for the whole hour; the teachers obviously thought we were total dunces. I worked on a drawing of a boy with green eyes. I thought it looked a little like him, but I was really basing it off of memory. I hadn't seen him since lunch yesterday.

I kind of wished I could see him in the hallway between classes, but I knew he wouldn't speak to a lowly freshman like me when he was obviously such a popular senior. Hey, it was high school, and though I had only been here two days, there were obviously some unspoken rules.

Cool seniors don't talk to freshmen. Ever.

Whatever. At least I saw Alice.

Things didn't pick up until lunch time.

After Lauren and Jessica asked me to sit with them again and I politely declined, they left in a small huff. I looked uncertainly at the lunch table where I sat yesterday. Nobody else was there yet, so I wasn't sure if it would be presumptuous of me if I just sat there.

But nobody did anything when I walked over and looked anxiously down at the seat.

"It's not going to bite, Bella." Rosalie's voice said as she came up behind me. She looked casual in a volley-ball t-shirt and jeans and with her long hair back in a ponytail, but she looked intimidating to me.

"What's not going to bite?" I asked.

"The seat. Just sit down." She smiled invitingly as she pulled out her phone.

I sighed and slid my backpack so that it was in my lap. I got out my lunch bag and lay my backpack down on the floor beneath my feet. I leaned it against my knees so that it wouldn't fall.

Rosalie giggled at something on her phone; I glanced over at her quickly, and she was smiling down at the screen with a happy expression on her face. I looked away and took out my lunch. Today it was an orange with apple juice.

I was halfway done with peeling it when Alice and Jasper sat down. Immediately, the atmosphere felt fuller with her here. She smiled at me.

"So, how was your day so far?" I could hear the hidden meaning: any emotional breakdowns?

"S'okay." I replied nonchalantly.

"That's good. My day was just great." She smiled knowingly at Jasper. He smirked back.

I didn't even want to know what was going on there.

I lightly cleared my throat and finished unpeeling my orange. I put the peelings in my lunch bag and then proceeded to fold it to distract me from the looks Alice and Jasper were sharing. I split the orange in half, taking off the white stuff before I ate it.

I chewed silently through a few slices.

"Em will be here soon." Rosalie announced.

"I was beginning to wonder where he was." Alice said.

"He's with Edward - working on that dumbass project." She muttered to herself.

I felt my curiosity spike. Edward? Project? Could it have something to do with welding? That was apparently Emmett's forte. So maybe they were doing something Emmett was comfortable with…

I poked the juice box open with the straw, thinking, wondering. Would Edward come down to lunch to eat with us? It would be nice to see him, though it was sure to be a little awkward…

Damn it! Why couldn't I control my own emotions? I _would. _I didn't have to hurt. I just had to be in control.

I took a small sip of my juice box and finished my orange. I started fiddling with my lunch bag, ripping it in some places. I put the white stuff from the orange inside the bag. I felt my mind grow a little numb.

It felt nice.

But then a few minutes later Edward and Emmett sat down. They smelled like cold air. I think I could smell the leftover cigarette smoke coming from Edward, but maybe that was just my imagination.

I tried to ignore the rush of blood that went through my body when Edward smiled at me in greeting and sat down across from me.

"It's about time you guys got here." Rosalie complained.

I could feel the heat of his legs from under the table. Before I knew what I was doing, I slid my foot over across the tile so that it would lightly touch his foot. Blood rushed through me again…

I took a deep sip from my juice box.

"You alright there, Bella?" Alice asked worriedly as she took a bite from her salad.

"I'm fine."

"Alright…" She looked uneasily away from me and went back to talking to Jasper; I think it was something about volleyball tryouts next week.

"Babe, we were working on –" Emmett tried to explain, putting his hand in her hair.

"Yeah, the sculpture, I know." She swatted his hand away. He fisted his hand in her hair anyway. She smiled and playfully slapped his leg.

I glanced up from my lunch bag, and Edward rolled his eyes at them to me. I bit my lip and smiled nervously, not sure if he could feel the light touch of my sneaker on his…hmmm…his shoe didn't feel like a sneaker. More like a boot.

Edward wore boots. Another interesting thing about this already interesting guy.

Especially his eyes. His eyes were gorgeous.

I shook my head disapprovingly at my thoughts. I moved my foot back; the warmth from his leg was gone now. I swallowed heavily.

"Dude, you are _so _whipped." Jasper commented, staring pointedly at where Emmett's hand was.

"Shut up. And not in front of the kid." He not-so-subtly nodded his head at me.

I blushed. "It's okay." I said, shrugging. "I heard that stuff from my old friends all the time."

Everyone raised their eyebrows at me, surprised. I supposed it was because I had never voluntarily offered up information about my past before I moved here. Or it could be because I was talking. I wasn't sure which.

"You had friends?" Edward asked; his eyebrow quirked adorably.

_His eyebrow quirked adorably? Really Bella? _

"Yeah. A couple."

"Do you miss them?" Alice asked.

"I guess. We weren't really close." I was starting to grow uncomfortable with the subject, mostly because it came too close to home. I remembered the phone calls, the offers to go out...after _it _happened.

I felt the tears welling up.

_No. No. Control, Bella. Control the tears. You don't have to hurt. _

I swallowed the tears and looked up from my lap. Well, it wouldn't hurt if I had a little private moment throwing my stuff away. I got up abruptly, grabbing my stuff and went over to the trash can to throw it away.

I glanced back over my shoulder, trying to gauge everyone's reaction. There wasn't one, really; they were laughing. I wasn't sure if it was about me, but suddenly I felt left out. Well, not really _left out_, more like I didn't really belong at their table. That table was for five best friends. Not for five best friends and one of the best friend's freshman cousin.

But still, there was only about ten minutes left of lunch. I could survive until then, I supposed.

I walked slowly back to the table, taking deep breaths. _Forget about Lucy. Forget about Ness. Forget about Leah. They don't matter anymore. You're here and they're back in Arizona. _

Right. I slid back into my seat. Nobody really noticed; they were talking about volleyball.

Oh yeah. Alice wrote me about how she was on the volleyball team in one of her e-mails over the summer.

"I mean, of course we'll make the team Rose. Coach Clapp loves us. Not to mention we were co-captains last year." Alice comforted.

"Well, duh. I already knew that. I think _you're _the one who needs convincing. You always think you're not going to make something even though you know it's perfect for you. Jesus." Rosalie snapped back.

"Hag." Alice said. I looked at her with wide eyes. She smiled teasingly at me.

"Pixie." Rosalie stated.

Alice's eyes darkened. "You know I hate it when people call me that."

"Hey, Jasper started it."

Alice's eyes flashed and she turned back to him. Jasper looked nervous. "She's right. You _did _start that." She slapped his arm. He winced and rubbed his arm.

"I said I was sorry about that, Al."

"Whipped." Edward commented, throwing Jasper's earlier words back at him.

He _was _quick-witted.

Jasper glared at him, rubbing his arm. "Shut up, Edward. Just because _you _aren't getting laid –"

My eyes turned upon Alice, stunned. She was having sex? With Jasper?

Alice merely shook her head at me, rolling her eyes. _He's not, _she mouthed.

"Oh-hhhooo." Emmett laughed. "Seems _you're _the one who's not getting laid, Jasper."

"Dick."

"Remember the kid." Emmett countered.

I was still staring at the table, out of my mind with embarrassment at what I heard, when the lunch bell rang, signaling the end of lunch.

Thank goodness.

----

The end of the day. Aunt Esme was there to pick us up. I was the first one there.

"Eager to go home, are we?" She chuckled.

I nodded. "Definitely."

She was still laughing when Alice opened the front door to the car.

"Mom, can I go hang out with everyone after school?"

"Sure."

"Hey, do you wanna come, Bella?" She asked.

"No. Thank you though." I smiled politely at her.

She shrugged. "Alright. I'll be home in time for dinner."

"Be safe, sweetie." Aunt Esme kissed her cheek.

"I won't. Later." Alice shut the door, waving good-bye at us. The car was silent for a moment.

"Do you want to come sit up here, Bella?"

In answer, I opened the door and went to go sit up front. She smiled at me and started the car. I buckled in and tightened the strap. She pulled out of the parking lot and turned on the radio.

Folk music started to play.

I looked at her in confusion and then back at the radio. _Really? Folk music? _

She chuckled. "Alice hates it when I listen to this, so I usually listen to it when she's not around."

I raised my eyebrows at her, nodding, and turned to look out the window. Hills, trees, blue sky…Pennsylvania was so full of life compared to Arizona. Everything was dead there.

The irony was not lost on me.

Aunt Esme abruptly turned the music off. "Bella, there's a surprise at home."

I turned to look at her.

"Your stuff's here."

I smiled happily. All my books…

She giggled and it made me smile again.

"Excited?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, me too. I wasn't sure if you wanted Alice there though…she loves setting up everything. I thought it would be nice if you could set up your own bedroom."

I nodded again.

"It came while you were at school, so all the boxes are in and everything. We'll have to do some rearranging with the furniture, put up pictures…"

As Aunt Esme babbled on, I let myself be lulled by the sound of her voice. She was finished by the time we got back to the house.

"Oh, and Bella?"

I looked at her questioningly.

"Your mom's a bit upset…so be good around her, okay?" That was all she said, but I felt my stomach drop worriedly.

"What happened?"

She looked at me sadly. "One of your dad's pictures dropped. The one of the fish. The glass frame broke, and…"

I swallowed my tears, ignoring the pang I felt.

"Well, she was very upset in any case. So…just be good." She smiled and patted her hair.

We both got out of the car and went into the house. I was surprised at what I saw; there were so many boxes, and the place was a mess. It looked so different from when I left this morning.

"Is my stuff in my room?" I asked quietly.

"Yup. You can go ahead and unpack – unless you have homework first."

"No, I don't have any homework. It's the second day of school."

"Oh, well, go ahead. Call me up if you need any help."

I nodded at her, and walked upstairs, my backpack thudding against me the whole way.

* * *

**Yay! Fast update! :)  
So, Bella has her stuff back.  
And don't worry -- Bella and Edward will start talking more soon!  
Thanks for reading!  
Review, pretty please? **


	11. In Which She Gives In

_The forked  
__trunk and branches are  
__also a kind of necessary  
__prose—shingled with leaves,  
__pigment and song  
__imposed on the blunt  
__lineaments of fact, a foliage  
__of small birds among them  
_--The Apple Tree by Wendell Berry

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Eleven: In Which She Gives In**

* * *

My books smelled weird; they didn't have the same musky scent. I think it was because they had been in boxes for over a week. Thankfully, the movers had already set up my book shelves up so I could get them out of their confining prisons. I patted each one in welcome as I set them up in alphabetical order.

When I was finished, my back ached, but I felt loads better. I put the empty boxes on top of each other and put them outside my door. I only had about seven more boxes to go. I started with the one labeled _girl – figurines. _

They were filled with a bunch of knick-knacks I had collected over the years. I lined them up carefully on the top of my dresser. When I was finished with that, I put the empty box and the wrapping paper out in the hall with the others.

I wasn't sure if I was allowed to put posters up, but I decided Aunt Esme wouldn't mind if I used tape instead of tacks. I knew I had some tape in my book bag, so I dug through there before putting the posters up in order, right next to each other. I had an Owl City poster, a Secondhand Serenade one, and a one that depicted a mysterious green forest.

I liked the last one the best.

Already my room was starting to look more like _mine _instead of a guestroom.

There were also some random crap that I didn't know what to do with, so I just put those in one box.

I put some extra clothes I found in one box in my dresser. When I sniffed them, they smelled like cardboard.

I happened to glance at the clock. It said that it was five-thirty. Dinner would be ready in about an hour. I decided to stop unpacking for now; I wanted to go outside for some tree time.

I needed my fix.

When I went downstairs, Aunt Esme was already cooking dinner. It smelled good.

"I'm going to go outside." I told her.

"Okay. I'll have Alice call you in when dinner's ready." She smiled at me.

I nodded and went out through the back patio. I took a deep breath of the air; it smelled fresh and nature-y. I felt myself relaxing as I walked down the steps. After some searching, I found some garden gloves. They were a little big, but they would do.

I entered the orchard, and it felt like the rest of the world falls away. It's just me and Mother Nature now. My fingers trailed against the barks of the apple trees as I walked to the back of the orchard. My excitement climbed higher as I came closer and closer.

And then I'm there.

She's there, in all her glory. Branches like wings spread out for me. My bruise ached, as if it knew that it was going to receive some more pain. But I smiled widely, a true smile. I stretched as high as I could, while scrambling against the thick and twisting roots. I winced when my leg knocked against the bark of the tree, but I lifted my leg against the bark and pulled with all my might.

I almost fell, but I quickly threw my leg over the branch. I smiled in deep satisfaction. It only took me one try to get up. I pulled off the garden gloves and clenched and unclenched them. I sighed and put them back on. I finished climbing almost all the way to the top.

It was freezing up this high. I shivered, trying to wrap my arms around myself while at the same time trying to keep my balance. It was a hard feat, but I managed.

God, the landscape was beautiful. Behind me, there was the house in all its glory. And behind the house, there were rolling hills with dark green trees that were shining against the setting sun. I looked back in the other direction.

Since I really didn't get a good look last time I was here – since Edward "interrupted" me – I paid more attention. It appeared the orchard was located on a small hill, as beyond the white fence, the ground sloped down to a small river. A few feet beyond the river, there was some farmland. I wondered who owned it.

A breeze came by, blowing right in my face. I shivered, but closed my eyes, feeling a deep calm falling over me.

_Are you here Dad? I think I can feel you. _

The wind blew harder in my face, and I felt tears fill my eyes. I wiped my snot against my shirt sleeve, smiling a little. It seemed like Dad was here. His quiet presence right beside me. I sighed and sat down on the branch, just listening to the quietness of the orchard. The softness of the branches swaying underneath my still form. I felt my eyes close in peace.

-----

I don't know when I became aware of the footsteps, or the female voice calling my name, "Bella! Bella! Where are you? It's time for dinner! Bella…!"

I yawned and stretched, holding onto the creaking branch with one hand. It seemed it was time to leave.

_I have to go. _

Cold, freezing wind was my answer. I bit my lip, shivering. I shook my hands, trying to get warmth back in them. I started to climb down carefully, slowly. When I reached the bottom branch, I jumped off, wincing at the impact on my ankles.

I took in a deep breath and followed the sound of Alice's voice.

----

"So how was school?" Aunt Esme asked as she passed around the chicken. Alice took some and handed the plate to me.

"It was great." Alice chattered. "Rose and I went to the volleyball court to start practicing for tryouts next week. The guys watched, of course." She stopped talking to take a bite of chicken. "Great job on the dinner, Mother."

Aunt Esme smiled. "Thank you, Al. So, Bella, how was your day?"

"Fine." I took the chicken platter, then a piece, and planted some on my mother's empty dish, which she was staring at. She glanced up at me, an empty look on her face, as if she didn't even know me.

It made me frightened.

I guess Aunt Esme was right; Mom _was _upset. I swallowed heavily and forced a smile at her.

She didn't smile back, merely looked back at her plate.

My smile fell and I went back to pushing my food around on my plate.

Aunt Esme seemed to sense the tense atmosphere. She tried talking about nothing topics: the weather, how the apple trees were doing, upcoming church activities, blah blah blah. I sighed heavily, glancing occasionally at my mother, who was not eating either.

Eventually, Aunt Esme petered out and the room fell silent.

The only sounds were the scraping of forks and knives against the plates. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"So I see the stuff came today." Alice finally said.

My mother stiffened. Aunt Esme shook her head in warning at Alice.

"What?" She whispered.

"Just hush, Alice." Aunt Esme ordered.

Alice gave me a confused look. I just shook my head at her, glancing at my mother. She shrugged and the room fell into silence once more.

Alice and I did the dishes, while Aunt Esme presumably went to talk to my mom. As she washed, she kept looking like she was about to say something, but never did. I kept quiet, waiting.

"What happened?" She finally busted out.

"Mom broke a frame. She's upset." I replied dully, looking at my reflection in the clean plate.

She gave a diplomatic grunt.

"So, are you going to wear your own clothes tomorrow?" Alice asked casually.

"I guess."

"Oh. Well, if you want to wear something of mine, go ahead." She smiled at me. I nodded my head at her.

When we finished, we went to our separate rooms, trying to ignore the muffled crying.

----

At school the next day, I ended up wearing my own clothes. Alice seemed a bit disappointed, but she complimented my worn jeans and my dad's old plaid shirt nicely. I left the house before my mother could see that I was wearing dad's clothes.

In the car, Aunt Esme announced that she wouldn't be driving us next week. Alice didn't seem surprised, so I guess that she said it for my benefit.

"I just have to start working on the orchard…pruning the branches, hiring workers to help. I don't want to bore you, so I won't get into detail. But next Monday you're going to either have to ride the bus or get a ride from someone else."

I sighed, my heart dropping in disappointment. I guess I knew this thing would be too good to be true.

"Okay, Bella?" Aunt Esme glanced back in the rearview mirror at me.

I gave a small grunt to acknowledge her.

"Alright then. I'll be a late after school, Alice. Unless you and Bella can find someone else to ride with you…?"

"Yeah, we can get Jasper to take use home." Alice said cheerfully.

"Okay." She pulled into the school's parking lot. "Here we are. Have a nice day girls." She smiled and waved at us as we got out. We watched as she drove away.

"I'll meet you at the front entrance after school, okay?" She asked me as she walked away to her friends.

"Okay." I whispered to no one.

----

I quickly went up to my homeroom, relieved that there was no sign of Jessica or Lauren. I leaned against the wall to wait for Mr. Mead to arrive. I watched quietly as students started coming up the stairs, walking within their cliques. They looked like they were having so much fun…

Mr. Mead arrived then, interrupting my observations.

He smiled at me. "Hello, Bella."

And I gave a half-smile back, because he was probably the only one at this school (besides Alice and her friends) who called me Bella.

"Hi." I replied shyly.

He nodded and unlocked his door, holding it open for me. He switched on the lights, and I went over to my desk and dropped my stuff on the floor. I took my seat and Mr. Mead started setting up everything for the day.

I watched the clock ticking slowly. I tried to block out Mr. Mead's movements, concentrating on the time passing. Students starting arriving when the big hand hit the minute before school officially started. Some people shouted greetings to Mr. Mead like they were old friends.

Eventually, everyone was seated but Jessica was seated.

"Hey, Bella." Angela grinned at me as she slid into her seat. "How was your day yesterday?"

I shrugged at her, rolling my eyes.

"Yeah, me too." She laughed and got out a notebook and some pencils. "Hey, what class do you have after this?"

I was about to answer, when Jessica came in the door, looking flushed and out of breath. "Sorry," she said.

Mr. Mead merely nodded at her.

She walked past me, rolling her eyes and smiling.

I didn't do anything.

She frowned slightly and went back to sit in her seat.

Angela looked at me questioningly, but I shrugged at her again.

"Alright class. Time for attendance. Settle down. Mike, put the paper airplane away…"

------

Spanish was a slow affair. Ms. Goff went over all the rules _again_ and then she handed out textbooks and workbooks. After that, she went over numbers with us. _Uno, dos, tres… _

Quiet easy, until I we went past ten. I was lost after that.

When Spanish ended, Jacob Black walked with me to my next class. I felt slightly uncomfortable with the way he leaned toward me as we walked. He was so _warm. _And he was a _boy. _

I felt myself blushing the whole way to Algebra.

Algebra went the same way much as Spanish did, except for one exception.

"Hey, Bella, do you think you could eat lunch with me today?" Angela asked pleadingly. She smiled at me, biting her lip.

"Why?" I asked cautiously. I think I already knew my answer would be yes; I remembered the aloneness I felt yesterday when I went to go throw my food away. The way the familiar banter flowed naturally. I felt like a rock in the middle of their rushing river.

"Oh, you know." She shrugged, looked around slyly, and lowered her tone. "It'd be nice to have you there…with Jessica and Lauren. You know."

I bit my lip. "I…guess."

She squealed quietly. "Thank you _so _much. It'll be so much fun with you there!"

"I just have to tell my cousin that I'm sitting with you guys." I said quietly, pulling out my stuff for class.

"Of course. Just be sure to sit with us!" Angela gently nudged me in the stomach, and straightened to attention when Mr. Philips walked in.

-----

On the way to lunch, I felt the familiar butterflies in my stomach whenever I did something new. I bet I'd be getting a full-fledged police interrogation…done by curious teenagers.

_Curious teenagers killed the Bella. _

I sighed heavily as I walked with Angela inside. I searched for Alice, but of course she wasn't there yet. I told Angela to wait a moment that I had to go deliver a message.

"We go sit in that corner over there." Angela pointed and I nodded in assent.

"Be right there."

"Just sit wherever you want!" She called out as I walked away and over to Rosalie.

I heard her light giggles from a few feet away. I stood behind her for a second, shifting from foot to foot, before finally just tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

She turned around, scowling. But her face smoothed out when she saw it was me. "Oh, hi Bella. What is it?"

I cleared my throat. "I'm going to go sit…" I thought for the right word, before finally just saying, "I'm not going to sit here today."

She frowned. "Did we do something?"

"No. But, you know." I shrugged.

She nodded. "You want me to tell Alice?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

"No problem. See you in gym." She smiled and turned back around.

I frowned. Rosalie was in my gym class? I didn't remember seeing her there, I thought as I walked over to Angela's table. Nobody else was there yet; I searched for Angela, and saw that she was in the long lunch line.

I sighed and slid into a seat near the edge. I pulled out my brown paper bag from my backpack – an applesauce cup and some apple juice. I heard the click-clack of high heeled shoes coming closer.

I sighed.

"Bella, what are you doing over here?" Alice frowned down at me, her arms around Jasper's waist.

He looked like he could care less.

"I was…just…going to sit…with some friends?" I replied timidly, looking down at the floor. Alice's expression was fierce.

"Oh, and you weren't going to tell me?" I studied her expression; she looked worried.

"Sorry." I shrugged and turned back to my food.

"Jazz, will you go get some food for us?" Alice asked quietly. He grunted, I heard a kiss, and then Jasper walking away.

"Bella, I was just worried…that you had another…you know."

"An emotional breakdown?" I asked tonelessly, stabbing my straw through the stupid hole.

"Well…yes." I heard Alice come closer; today she smelled like strawberries and bananas.

I turned back around to look at her. "It's okay Alice. You don't have to take care of me all the time."

Alice bit her lip. "It's just…I promised Mom…and I care about you."

I felt my face softening. "It's –"

I was interrupted by a loud squeal. Two actually.

"Alice! Hey!" Jessica exclaimed excitedly.

Alice rolled her eyes at me and turned to face them. "Hey, chicas."

"Oh hey!"

I sighed and turned back around, trying to ignore their chattering. Alice's light touch on my back was her good-bye. Jessica and Lauren whispered amongst themselves before finally sitting down.

They both had gotten salads, chips, and low-fat milk.

Jessica stared at my food – or lack thereof – for a while before commenting.

"How can you eat so little?" She asked curiously, looking at me incredulously.

"I'm…not that hungry." I shrugged. I couldn't explain to her that if I felt like I ate too much, I might throw up. That I didn't really have an appetite since my dad died…

Lauren's voice interrupted me then, thankfully. "I wish I could do that. Just eat nothing. I'd be so skinny."

"I know, right? I'm so jealous." Jessica looked desolately at her salad. "But I can't help it. I get so hungry."

I looked between the two of them, brows furrowed. "But you guys aren't fat."

"Shut up." They said at the same time, and began giving me an extensive list of their faults.

I was completely overwhelmed, and I gratefully saw that Angela and everyone else was headed our way.

"Hey, Bella." Angela said as she sat next to me. "Sorry, but that line was so dang long."

"I know!" A girl said as she sat across from Angela. "So annoying." She spotted me. "Oh, hi. I'm Samantha." She held out her hand for me to take. I cautiously took it and shook it quickly. She smiled at me. "Nice to meet you."

I nodded at her, trying to ignore her curious stares.

Actually, trying to ignore _all _the curious stares.

Right then, I kind of wished I had my old friend Nessie with me. I had to leave her behind when I moved to Winston. That sort of made her sound like some beloved toy that was too big to take with me, but that wasn't the case at all. And while we had not been best friends, her quiet, reassuring presence would have soothed me from all the ogling faces.

I couldn't but glance at Alice's table, where everyone seemed perfectly happy without my presence.

I sighed heavily and watched the table for the rest of the lunch period, trying to ignore the stabbing in my stomach.

-----

The rest of the day passed slowly.

Drama class. I definitely had to change it.

In P.E., it turned out that Rosalie was in that class. But she was a teacher's assistant, so I wouldn't really be seeing her much. She helped grade and stuff and not much else. Lauren _was _in that class as well, and it kind of hard to ignore her staring at my body.

I decided I would change in the stalls after that.

----

When the bell rang, I was out of there faster than a lightening bug.

Don't ask me where I got the phrase. Long story.

Aunt Esme was there, and I felt crushed that this was the last week she would be driving us.

And then I would have to ride the bus.

Great.

All I could say was that I'm glad it's Wednesday, and the week is almost over.

* * *

**Sorry for the slow update! Thank you guys for all the reviews!  
If I didn't reply, it's because I get all confused. I'm not exactly sure how to reply or if I already replied, but I WILL figure it out. I promise! :)  
Don't worry you guys, there will be E/B. It's a "slow burn". It'll take a while for them to get there.  
As for now, well...let's just watch Bella flail. Haha.  
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As always, tell me what you think! :)


	12. In Which She Sees Skin

A squiggly little worm into my apple bit.  
He chomped and chomped until the core he hit.  
I asked him why he did it,  
And thought it sounds absurd,  
He said, "I love apples."  
Now that is what I heard.

-Anonymous

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
Chapter Twelve: In Which She Sees Skin**

* * *

When I entered the bathroom to take a shower, I locked the door behind me. I stripped off all my clothes and stared at myself in the mirror. Same ol bag o' bones. I could see the veins in my chest. Disgusted, and with tears filling my eyes, I turned towards the bathtub and started the water.

I looked down at the flannel shirt on the floor that I had carelessly thrown. Licking my dry lips, I carefully folded it and put it on the toilet. Steam began to fill the room, and I opened the window. The fall air brought with it the scent of apples from below.

Shivering, I went under the hot water.

There was a burst of pain and I quickly made it colder. As I got used to the warmth, I slowly turned it in the other direction. The cold from outside and the heat from the water made even more steam. I put my hair under the water and slowly let it soak in. I grabbed the shampoo and lathered my hair.

My day had been going so well. At least, compared to two months ago...

_Earlier that day. _

It was Friday afternoon, and I was a bit happy to be going back home. I only had a few problems in Algebra to do, but those would be easy for me to finish. The entire ride home, I bounced in my seat eagerly. I couldn't wait to go to the orchard for the rest of the afternoon.

Today was a fine day for sitting outside; instead of a brisk chilliness, there was nice warmth that permeated the air, and the sun was shining brightly. There weren't any clouds. A perfect Friday. Well, at least it would be if I wasn't stuck on the bus. I would really hate riding this thing for the rest of the year.

I wondered where I would be in a year. Would this pain hurt as much? Would I have friends? Would I like riding the bus?

I leaned my head against the window, annoyed that the window shook and that it was uncomfortable. I couldn't help but think that Aunt Esme's car windows were much more comfy. I pillowed up my hair against the glass and that made it a bit better. I stared aimlessly out at the trees, which were beginning to turn vivid colors of red and yellow.

The bus slowly rode to a stop, and I leaned forward involuntarily and my pillow hair slipped. I glanced around to see where we were. There was nobody else on, so that meant it was my stop. I got up and grabbed my backpack and stepped off the bus. I stood there and watched the bus turn a corner until it was fully gone.

They dropped me off at the bottom of the hill. I would have to climb all the way up it to get to the house. I would've normally been annoyed at this: couldn't they have just gone all the way up and turned around? But today was Friday. And it was nice out. And I was seeing my tree in a few minutes.

I slowly began to hike, taking in the silence of the country and the chilliness of the air. It was so much different from Arizona that it was laughable. I breathed in fresh air and breathed it out as well. I almost wanted to close my eyes, but I would probably trip over some stray branches.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps coming from somewhere. I glanced behind me quickly, abruptly aware of how isolated I was. What if somebody came and killed me? Raped me? There would be nobody to hear me scream.

But when I saw the red hair coming down the hill, I relaxed immediately, but then sprang back up. That was Edward! And he was running towards me! Did he just come from the house? We just got out of school! How did he get here so fast?

I couldn't think of anything to say, and he was coming closer.

I slowly started to walk again, my heart racing with each step as he came closer.

But as the moment approached, and he finally passed me, all he did was nod in my direction and continue jogging. I had to keep myself from smiling, though. He wasn't wearing any exercise clothes, but his jeans and a white T-shirt.

I glanced behind me. When I did, his jeans slipped down a little, and I saw his dark green and red plaid boxers, and a thin line of skin above them. A strange feeling pumped through me, one I had only read about, but never really felt. My mouth fell open, and I felt myself start to blush. I covered my face, and quickly turned around and practically ran home.

I knocked several times on the door, completely out of breath. While I waited for someone to answer, I leaned against the wall of the house. I let my backpack slid onto the porch floor. What was that? I felt so…confused. The coolness of the air made me shiver.

That was so weird. I got…flustered by the sight of his underwear? Not to mention that piece of skin…I let out a shaky breath.

Should I be feeling this way only a few months after my _father_ died? Plus, I barely even knew Edward, except that he was a senior, he was cool, and he lived with Carlisle. Oh, and he was working on some big project with Emmett –

The door suddenly opened, and my mother's sad face peeked around the corner. I felt shamed by my thoughts. Here was my mother, falling into a spiraling hole of depression, and I was choked up by the thought of Edward's –

I felt that flush of heat cross my skin again.

"Come on in," Mom whispered and opened the door wider.

I gave her a timid smile, which she barely returned. I walked inside and told her that I would be in my room if she needed me. She nodded and went back into the living room. I sighed and went upstairs, trying not to cry.

I slid off my sneakers when I entered my room. The sun shone brightly through the window. I sighed and opened the window slightly. Papers lying on my desk fluttered in the breeze, and I put a book on top of them to hold them down. When I was finished with that, I jumped on top of my bed.

It molded to my shape, and I sunk into it. I buried my face into my pillow and breathed in deep.

When I let it out, tears fell down my face.

Somehow, I didn't wake up until Alice came home.

I was freezing cold. It was six o'clock on the dot. I felt completely disoriented, because the sun was setting in the sky. I bit my lip in complete disappointment. That meant I couldn't go out to the orchard! I firmly shut the window, angry with myself.

Since it was becoming dark outside, I could see my reflection in the window. My hair was a rat's nest. Groaning, I grabbed a nearby comb and brushed through it harshly. When I was done, my hair was completely flat, which wasn't much of an improvement. Giving up, I put on some fuzzy socks and went downstairs.

I could smell fried chicken coming from the kitchen. I gave a little smile. That was my favorite food. How did Aunt Esme know? I hadn't told her anything about it. And my mother for sure wouldn't say anything. It seemed that since she took us to Pennsylvania, and that I had someone to look after me, she had given up.

My smile fell flat.

My mother was still on the couch, staring blankly at the news. Alice was sitting beside her, knees curled up around her chest. She heard me come in and waved at me to come and sit down next to her. I went over and did so.

"Hey, Bellsy. How're things?" Alice turned her head towards me to see my answer.

"Fine," I replied, giving a slight smile. "When's dinner going to be ready?"

"In about fifteen minutes," Aunt Esme called from the kitchen.

I must've made a weirded out face, because Alice said, "It still freaks me out how she can hear from so far away."

I nodded in agreement.

Alice lowered her voice. "Do you think you could ask Aunt Renee to change the channel to National Geographic?"

It sounded weird hearing my mother as 'Aunt Renee', and the fact that Alice was scared of her. It made me sad. Normally, my mother was a happy and friendly person. She would've loved Alice if she wasn't so sad all the time.

"Yeah. Sure," I whispered back. "Mom? Could you hand me the remote?"

She blinked and slowly turned her head and handed it gently to Alice. Alice thanked her kindly and switched channels.

"So, what are you going to do this weekend?" Alice asked, turning her head towards me.

I shrugged. "Homework. Watch a movie. Sleep."

"Sounds boring," Alice commented.

I bobbed my head. "What are you going to do?"

Alice smiled. "Hang around here this weekend. Normally I'd hang out with Rosalie or Jasper, but since this is your first official weekend here, I figured we could chill with each other."

My lips twitched. "Chill?"

Alice gave a mock-defensive look. "Hey, everyone's saying it nowadays. Gotta keep up with the times, Bellsy."

I gave a small snort.

She began to say something, but then Aunt Esme yelled out, "Get your dinner folks!"

Alice and I stood up and headed towards the kitchen.

"I'll get you some food, Mom," I said as I walked passed her.

She didn't say anything. Her eyes were pinioned on the television screen.

I licked my lips and followed Alice.

_Present _

The hot water trickled out. A loud knock made me jump.

"Bella? Are you alright in there?" Aunt Esme said through the door. "You've been in there for a while."

I cleared my throat. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Perfectly fine."

_Lie. _

"Well, it's time you get out now. It's almost ten." I heard her footsteps walk away, and I sighed.

That night, I had dreams of white hot skin. Wet kisses going up thighs.

When I woke up, it was four o'clock in the morning, and I had a yearning for something I was sure I could never have.

The air brought with it certain refreshment to it, but I still couldn't shake the dream off my mind.

It was completely dark out. I was freezing, and I wasn't entirely sure where I was going. I kept my hand on trees for guidance.

After a while, I found my tree.

But what surprised me was what was under the tree. It had to be an illusion, but the cigarette smell was entirely too intense to be fake.

When I crept closer, I saw that Edward had a flashlight with him. I could make out the outline of his form leaning against the tree. His head was tilted back, looking up the branches that I so loved to climb.

My mouth dropped open, and my breath left me in a huff. What was he doing here? How did he get here?

What was he doing under my tree?

I couldn't bring myself to move. It was so fascinating to watch.

He slowly brought the cigarette to his mouth. He took in a deep breath, and then I saw the smoke mix in with the steam of his breath. His skin was very pale with the flashlight. As if to give me a better view, clouds moved and the moonlight shone done on him.

I panicked and went to hide the closest tree.

A twig snapped, and Edward jumped up and looked around.

I bit my lip anxiously.

Spooked, Edward started gathering up his things. I wanted to tell him to stop, to stay, but I was too scared. He put all his stuff in a small sack, put it on his back, walked over to the fence and hopped over it.

That was when I couldn't see him anymore, though I moved out from behind the tree.

He was gone.

I ran back to the house, feeling exhilarated. It was like my dream called him, and he appeared. The orchard _had _to be a magic place.

I quietly opened the door. When it creaked I stopped short, my heart pounding wildly from the run and the anticipation of being caught. When nothing happened, I kicked off my shoes and raced up the stairs on my tip toes.

I jumped on my bed and cuddled up with my pillow.

I would definitely have to check the tree tomorrow.

* * *

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	13. In Which She Falls

_THERE 's a memory keeps a-runnin'  
Through my weary head to-night,  
An' I see a picture dancin'  
In the fire-flames' ruddy light;  
'T is the picture of an orchard  
Wrapped in autumn's purple haze,  
With the tender light about it  
That I loved in other days.  
_-The Old Apple Tree by Paul Laurence Dunbar

* * *

**Where the Wild Apples Grow  
****Chapter Thirteen: In Which She Falls**

* * *

I breathed in the fresh September air. It was a bit chilly out; not so cold as to warrant a winter jacket, but not so warm that I could go sleeveless. Instead, I was wearing a plain grey long sleeved t-shirt and some very old jeans. I was also wearing my old hiking boots that I had unlaced. My feet felt loose in them.

It was Sunday, which meant that Aunt Esme and Alice had gone to church. My mother and I, of course, had stayed home, citing the fact that we were still tired from moving here and such. I said that I still had some homework to be done that would take all day. Aunt Esme said nothing, even though it was the first week of school, and it was doubtful that they would assign such a huge "project" so quickly.

Alice, however, just gave me a disappointed look. She didn't say anything either, but I could tell that she was a bit upset. I wondered how she came to care for me so quickly in such a short amount of time. Perhaps it was because we were family, and families had this special connection where you could love someone immediately, without having to think about it.

I was walking to the back of the orchard, to my tree. I tried to keep my hopes that I would see Edward there down. After all, he went to church like Aunt Esme and Alice. In fact, he went to the same church as them. I wondered if he believed in any of it…

In case he was there, I hid behind the tree where I was last night. I slowly peeked around the corner. When I saw no sprawling form, I felt like an idiot. Rolling my eyes, I went over to my tree. The breeze gently lifted my air from my face. It was so quiet out here. I closed my eyes and listened to the leaves brush against each other. So calm, so peaceful.

How anyone could live in a city was beyond me.

I licked my dry lips and opened my eyes. I let out sigh. This place was so beautiful. I could almost imagine my dad growing up here. Perhaps he even sat under this same tree…

I wiped away some tears.

It seemed as if I cried all the time now. It was like my throat was set on permanent heavy-throat mode; the feeling when you get when you know you're about to cry.

But I shouldn't cry in a place like this. It was too…cheerful here. Too happy. This was no place for tears. Sighing, I looked up at the tree. I bit my lip, looking at the nearest branch. How was it that I did it again?

I jumped up as high as I could. Quickly wrapping my arms around the branch – muttering a curse as I did so – I pushed off the bark and pulled myself completely up. Despite the chill, a sweat broke out on my forehead.

I vowed one day I would be able to do this perfectly, without breaking a sweat or hurting myself. I pulled off the gloves and rubbed my hands together, to try and soothe the pain. After a couple minutes, I put them back on and finished climbing the tree all the way to the top.

I pulled out the apple I had in my shirt pocket. It was all smushed, and the juice was leaking out and staining my shirt, but I ate it anyway. Letting out a light moan in anticipation, I took a big bite. Juice spilled out on my mouth, and I wiped it away with my sleeve.

Apples, apples. How could I have ever not loved you before?

Of course, those apples weren't Aunt Esme's apples. It seemed like you could feel the love of Aunt Esme in them. I don't know. But they had something in them that made them…special. I took another large bite and looked out over the farm beside me.

The grass seemed browner today, and a bit shorter. I wondered if whoever lived there had cut the it recently. Taking another thoughtful chew, I pushed back some of the hair falling in my face.

I saw something out of the corner of my eye then. Sure I had imagined something, I squinted. I could vaguely make out a black, moving shape. It was coming in this direction. My breath caught. I slithered down a few branches, rolling my eyes when I dropped my half eaten apple onto the ground. I vowed I would stop doing that as well.

Peeking out through the branches, I saw the black figure pick up speed. What was it? A wolf? Some sort of cow? The farmer himself? As it came steadily closer, I saw a flash of red, before it disappeared behind some trees.

My heart sped up; was that Edward? It kinda looked like him.

I moved out a little farther on the branch. It creaked ominously, but I had to see if it was him.

But then he came out through some of the trees to the right of me. Shrieking in fright and surprise, I lost my grip on the limb and began to fall towards the ground. I desperately reached for branches as I fell, and I caught one, barely. I felt my skin rip as it began to bleed.

I heard him come closer, around to my side of the tree. He was out of breath, I could tell.

When he saw me hanging by a limb (excuse the pun), he dropped the stuff he was caring and yelled out, "Are you alright?"

I almost started to laugh. "No. I'm not."

"Do you need me to catch you?"

The thought of Edward touching me...my arms around his neck...close enough to_ kiss_ made me blush.

When that thought entered my mind, I almost slipped. I heard him hiss.

"Careful," he called out.

I sighed; my fingers were beginning to burn from holding onto the branch for so long. "Alright, I'm going to let go on the count of three."

"Okay." I glanced down; his arms were ready to catch me. "One…two…three."

And then I was falling. For a second, all I felt was terror and ultimate exhilaration – I assumed that's how I would feel if I could fly. But then I crashed into Edward, who, struggling to hold me, fell to the ground. I landed heavily on top of him, my face right in his face.

I felt the breath leave me. He started coughing. Grimacing, I rolled over off of him and started brushing leaves off of my clothes.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized over and over again as he slowly stood up. He held out his hand, telling me to stop talking. I shut up immediately.

"What were you _doing _up there?" he asked, rubbing his nose.

I blushed. "Thinking." I shuffled my feet on the ground. "And eating apples."

He _hmph_ed and sat down on the roots; he didn't say anything.

I stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do. He patted the spot next to him and I sat down cautiously.

"Are you okay?" I asked, trying not to stare when he took his black-and-white plaid jacket off, and saw that all he had underneath was a plain white t-shirt. He checked out his arms and rolled up his sleeves.

I had to hold back a gasp. He had muscles.

Now I could never be able to talk to him ever again.

They looked so foreign; it was like I had never seen a boy's arm before. And I hadn't...at least, not like this.

I averted my eyes.

"I'm fine. A little sore, but fine." He rubbed his neck awkwardly.

After a few minutes of silence, I stood up. "I should be going back to the house. Aunt Esme and Alice will be here soon, and they'll be wondering where I am."

He looked up from where he was staring at the ground. "You can stay. I mean, you live here. And you were here first."

"Well, you came here to be alone. Plus I fell on you." I started to stand up again and brushed off the leaves.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then he shut it. "I guess I'll see you at school then."

"Yeah." I started blushing again. "See you later."

He nodded and reached into his jacket pocket and got out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. I almost said something myself, but I figured I owed him to not lecture him on the benefits of not smoking.

Once I was out of sight of the tree, I ran as fast as I could back to the house. Aunt Esme and Alice weren't home yet, but they would be soon – probably in a couple of minutes. I went through the back door, letting it slam behind me, and went up to my bedroom. I kicked off my shoes and threw myself on the bed.

I buried my face in my pillow and screamed; whether it was in embarrassment…or something else entirely, I didn't really know.

* * *

I had regained most of my composure by dinner time, but I still felt a little out of sorts. My hands were shaking as I passed the salt shaker over to Alice, who glanced at me curiously before continuing to regal us with her story about what embarrassing happened at church earlier that day.

Two of the people at the table where inactive participants in listening – myself and my mother. I was still lost in memories of talking to Edward, and my mother was in her own little world of numbness. She ate her food – the little that she did – mechanically. Our extended family didn't seem to notice our preoccupation.

It made me feel frustrated with myself.

Why couldn't my mother and I be ourselves again? The ones who were happy, and who didn't feel like they had big, huge holes ripped right through their chests? The ones who could smile and laugh without feeling like they couldn't breathe? What happened to them? Were they locked away in some secret vault inside our hearts, never to be seen again? Would the real Bella and Renee ever come back?

My stomach felt hollower, my chest emptier with each passing thought.

Would I ever be normal again?

Heavy thoughts for such a light atmosphere. I carefully put my fork down and wiped my mouth with a napkin.

I had to clear my throat before I spoke. "I'm done. May I go upstairs?"

Aunt Esme and Alice turned to face me at the exact same time; I felt my face flush.

"You hardly ate your fish," Aunt Esme commented mildly.

"I don't really feel all that hungry." I couldn't look right at her as I spoke; I directed my attention to her forehead. "I had a big lunch."

"I didn't see any dishes in the rack."

I was beginning to feel irritated. My depressing thoughts and Aunt Esme's interrogation weren't really helping my mood.

"I had some cereal bars and chocolate chip cookies," I added quickly. "And some apples."

The thought of apples led to thoughts of Edward –running home on Friday, his pants falling down slightly; his arm muscles in a tight white t-shirt…I swallowed.

Aunt Esme gave me a long look. "Alright. But I want to talk to you after the dishes are done."

I nodded quickly and pushed back my chair. "Thanks for dinner, Aunt Esme." I pushed my chair back in, ran down the hallway, and up the stairs. After changing into my pajamas, I threw myself onto my big bed and settled myself comfortably so that I was watching the shadows dance on the ceiling.

* * *

Later than I would have expected, Aunt Esme knocked on my door. I knew it was her; she had a gentle knock, hesitant yet firm. I called out for her to come in, sitting up against my pillows. She smiled as she entered and climbed up on my bed.

I struggled to think about what looked different about her, and then realized that she was wearing her pajamas, and her hair was back in a ponytail – unusual, because she normally wore it loose. She gave me another smile, wrapped her arms around herself as if chilly, and started to talk.

"Bella, I'm not going to treat you like a little kid, so I'm going to be frank." Her voice in the stillness of my room startled me, but she ignored that and got straight to the point. "I want you to tell me why you're not eating."

There was a beat of silence before I replied with a flat denial.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She gave me a look. "Your mother might not be aware of it, but I am. You're becoming a skeleton. Don't tell me _you_ haven't noticed."

I thought unwillingly of my reflection in the mirror – boney and thin. Like something was eating me from the inside out. And maybe, in a dark twisted way, something was – my loss.

But I didn't say anything.

Aunt Esme's face was soft, but her eyes were hard. "You _have_ noticed then." She looked me right in the eyes. "Bella, I know you're missing your dad." Here she coughed, and when she looked back at me, tears were in her eyes. "I am too. He was my brother. You don't think I miss him too?"

Tears filled my eyes as well.

I was so selfish. All this time, I had been thinking about myself and my mom – not giving a thought to Aunt Esme, who had just lost her only sibling, had to take care of all of us, and still work the orchard all the while nursing her own private grief.

"But that doesn't mean I'm not taking care of myself. I'm still eating. I'm still breathing. I still need to take care of things, because right now, I'm alive. I have responsibilities, obligations. As do you. You have school, your mom. She still needs you, you know." Here, her eyes looked away from me, at her feet. "Sometimes, the only way I can get up in the morning is because of Alice. I know it's the same with your mother, but with you in mind."

My body started to shudder with suppressed sobs. Aunt Esme still didn't look up. I wondered how hard this was for her, and I felt tears fall for her pain.

Now she looked back at me, her eyes red. There was such compassion there, that I couldn't help it – I burst into sobs like a little baby who needed comfort. I crawled over to her, not caring I probably looked like a little child. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder when I buried my face in her soft pajama sleeve. I knew snot was coming out of my most, but, again, I didn't really care.

Finally, someone who would share with me. Someone who _knew. _

Incoherent words were coming out of my mouth.

But I finally managed to say something articulate. "I…don't…because…I'm…alive…and…he's…_dead. Dead. Dead._ Why…should…I…be…able…to…eat?"

"Oh, sweetie," Aunt Esme _shh_ed me. I could feel her own tears fall on my hair. "I'm so sorry. So sorry. Darling. Shhh. Shhh."

Eventually, I cried myself out. I pulled away, embarrassed. I wiped my nose on my arm, feeling my face flush.

"Sorry." My voice was husky. "That won't happen again."

"Bella, if you ever need a good cry, you come to me, okay? Don't keep it bottled up. It'll hurt you that way."

I rubbed my eyes, exhausted.

"Do you want me to tuck you in?" she asked, looking at me worriedly.

"No. I'm okay." I gave a brave smile. "I'm all better now. And you're right Aunt Esme – I should eat more. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." She stood up and gave me a little kiss on the forehead. "Never sorry." She turned around and closed the door behind her. I was glad she knew not to shut the lamp light off, so I wouldn't be alone in the dark.

* * *

I could barely wake up the next morning. It felt like my eyes were sealed shut. I rolled over onto my side, not wanting to leave my little cocoon of warmth. But urgent thoughts of seeing a certain someone at school, made me moan in defeat and sit up in my bed. I pushed back my hair off my face and slid out of bed. I stumbled over to my dresser and put on the first things I saw, not caring if I looked ridiculous.

I put my hair back in a sloppy ponytail – and when I mean sloppy, I mean hair strands falling out and the band about to come out of my gathered hair. When I passed the mirror, my work boots clomping the whole way, down the hallway I grimaced at my reflection. My hair was greasy because I hadn't washed it, and my face was ghostly pale.

Closing my eyes, I turned away from the mirror and went downstairs.

The smell of bacon permeated the air. I took in a deep breath. My mind wandered back to what Aunt Esme said last night, something that struck a chord with me.

"_I'm still eating. I'm still breathing. I still need to take care of things, because right now, I'm alive."_

Right. So that's what I'd do. I'd have a few pieces of bacon, and later, some lunch.

I would be alright.

* * *

**Thank you all for reading and waiting for this update! I really appreciate all the reviews you have given me!**

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